21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 349

 

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a tuffet

Eating of curds and whey;

And if you ever wondered

What a tuffet is

You’ll find them on Ebay

WHINGING HOLIDAY MAKERS # 3

 

Topless sunbathing on the beach

Should be universally banned

My husband finds it distracting

And can’t relax as he planned

WHY DID THE BIGAMIST CROSS THE ROAD?

 

Why did the bigamist cross the road?

Well not just to get to the other side

The reason he wanted to cross over

Was so he could get to the other bride

ARE YOU WEARING A POLICEMAN’S HAT?

 

Are you wearing a policeman’s hat?

And you don’t get fed up with that

When they ask about your bobby’s hat

“Does your head reach the top of that?”

BONSAI GRANDAD

 

My grandfather became such

A successful bonsai grower

He had to move to a house

Where the garden was smaller

THE MELONS ARE HAVING A BIG WEDDING

 

The Melons are having a big wedding

“Hello magazine” have the scoop

However, they don’t really want

A big affair but they cantaloupe

THE SIMPLE RED ROSE WAS ONCE

 

The simple red rose was once

The emblem of the English

But alas it has been replaced.

In England by the satellite dish