ARE YOU WEARING EAU DE COLOGNE?

 

Are you wearing eau de Cologne?

Well, something smells wrong

I don’t think it’s the real deal

Like it was bottled in Hong Kong?

I HAD A TERRIBLE NIGHT’S SLEEP

 

I had a terrible night’s sleep

So, I went to see Miss Alconbury

About a Chemistry question

But apparently, we don’t have any

CORBYN!

 

Corbyn! Leading the labour party

They couldn’t have got it wronger

I wouldn’t have voted for him

To lead the conference party conga

SHE ONLY COME TO ME WITH A PROBLEM

 

She only come to me with a problem

When she wants my help solving it

But if she’s looking for sympathy

Then she knows that I’m not fit

So her girlfriends must fill that need

Because I’m an unsympathetic git

I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I DISLIKE F1

 

I can’t tell you how much I dislike F1

I only watch as a last resort

I find the F1 function key on my laptop

More interesting than the sport

ENDSHIP

 

OldfriEND or New FriEND,

BoyfriEND or GirlfriEND,

BestFRIEND or FriEND,

They all have an END

So if you’re looking for longevity

Look no further than family

THE TRUTH ABOUT FAMILY

 

Have you noticed that

Family Contains I L Y

Which stands for “I Love You”

And no one asks why