MARRIAGE IS LIKE A PACK OF CARDS

 

Marriage is like a pack of cards

For when the first deal is made

All you need is a couple of Hearts

And a Diamond to make the grade

But by the end of the endeavour

You will want a Club and a Spade

MY DOG BIT ME ON THE NUTS

 

My dog bit me on the nuts

When I accidentally kicked her

My wife said it was karma

But I thought she was crosser

SHE WAS SO DRUNK AT THE PARTY

 

She was so drunk at the party

When her period came on

She mistakenly used a party popper

Instead of a tampon

WHEN I SAW MY WIFE’S BOTOX BILL

 

When I saw my wife’s Botox bill

I couldn’t believe my eyes

I pointed it out to my wife

But she didn’t look surprised

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 339

 

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,

Catch a tiger by the toe,

If he hollers, don’t let him go,

And if you do run like hell

DINKY IS AN ACRONYM

 

DINKY is an acronym for

“Double income no kits yet”

And Dinky’s are really as

Smug as it’s possible to get

WHINGING BRITS ABROAD # 5

We flew to the West Indies

It took nine hours to get there

It took the Americans three hours

This seems very unfair