NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

 

If you have decided

You are overweight

And a diet is the solution

If you have decided

This should be

Your New Year’s resolution

Just listen to these facts

For just a moment

And then digest the information

 

Of all the people in Britain

There are more overweight people

Than there are average weight people

So overweight people

Are now the new average weight people

So, job done, you have reached your target

You are no longer overweight

You have kept your New Year’s resolution

Have a cake to celebrate

ARE YOU WEARING YOUR BIRTHDAY CLOTHES? # 1

 

Are you wearing your birthday clothes?

Well, if I might be so bold

Don’t just sit there

Or you might catch cold

YOLO IS AN ACRONYM

 

YOLO is an acronym for

“You only live once” which is nice

Unless of course you’re James Bond

Then “you only live twice”

MY WIFE IS A SEX OBJECT

My wife is a sex object

Though I still have respect

But whenever I ask for sex,

She will always object 

ACCORDING TO A POLL

Women’s silk Panties are Not

The best thing on earth,

According to a poll they are

Next to the best thing on earth 

APPLE ARE DESIGNING A HOUSE

 

Apple are designing a house

But the one thing nobody knows

Is whether or not the iHome

Is going to have Windows

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 329

 

Go to bed first,

A golden purse,

Go to bed second,

A golden pheasant,

Go to bed third,

And be extremely embarrassed

By what you find the other two doing