DIETING TIP # 8

 

Regarding the eating of broken biscuits

I think I have a tip that might assuage

Cookie pieces contain no calories as

Breaking them causes calorie leakage

A CHICKPEA AND A LENTIL

 

A chickpea and a lentil, what is

The difference between that brace?

It’s simple really because no one

Ever paid to have a lentil on their face

I'VE SWALLOWED SOME

 

I've swallowed some of my

Scrabble tiles accidentally

I’m afraid when nature takes

Its course, it could spell tragedy

I CAN HEAR REALLY ANNOYING MUSIC

 

I can hear really annoying music

And it’s getting to be a real pain

It’s emanating from inside my printer

I think the paper's jammin' again

OUTSIDE THE DRUG REHAB CENTRE

 

Outside the drug rehab centre

There was something a little crass

There was a sign on the lawn

That said “Keep off the Grass”

I AM NOT HANDY ABOUT THE HOUSE

 

I am not handy about the house

Or with the “Do It Yourself” game

And when a book falls on my head

I've only got my shelf to blame

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 283

 

If clouds or mists do dark the sky

And they make you feel glummer

Don’t let them get you down

It’s just the English summer