DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS

Don’t compare yourself to others,

Whatever else you might do

Because in all probability

They’re more screwed up than you

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 262

 

Tom he was a piper's son,

He learned to play when he was young,

But of all the things that he could play

He was happiest at his drum array

HER GRANDSON WAS AT UNIVERSITY

Her grandson was at university

And wrote he was learning Judo

Why a Christian boy would want

To convert she just didn’t know

MY ONCE SWEET WIFE HAS BECOME MEAN

 

My once sweet wife has become mean

And short tempered thanks to the menopause

I try to be sympathetic but on her really bad days

I think it’s more like the mental pause

ARE YOU WEARING THIS?

 

Are you wearing this?

What could be wrong?

Absolutely nothing

In fact nothing sums it up

There’s nothing to it

It covers nothing

And it leaves nothing

To the imagination

MAMIL IS AN ACRONYM

 

MAMIL is an acronym

For “Middle Aged Men In Lycra”

I have to confess that’s not the word

I use for an old peddle cycler

I DON’T LIKE STRIPPERS

 

I don’t like strippers

Pouting erotically

Bumping and grinding

Doesn’t do it for me

Nor Pole dancers

Going at it athletically

Lap dancing likewise

Doesn’t do it for me

Watching women undress

That does do it for me

Providing of course

I can find a suitable tree