MY UNCLE COLLECTS WILD ANIMALS

 

My uncle collects wild animals

He’s the strangest bloke I’ve met

I offered him a really fat badger

He said no “as it didn’t fit in his set”

I SCOURED THE LATEST GLOSSY MAGS

 

I scoured the latest glossy mags

In search of some fashion-ism

To give some indication as to what

One wears for casual racism

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 243

 

The Barber shaved the Mason,

And then at the close

The barber did propose

Something for the weekend sir?

ARE YOU WEARING LIP-GLOSS?

 

Are you wearing lip-gloss?

No, you’re not, you cow

You were when you went out

So, who’s wearing it now?

GOOD BYE SCOTLAND GOODBYE

 

Goodbye Scotland goodbye

Good bye Scotland don't cry

That little Nationalist train

that makes me

Quite happy, no words can tell how glad it makes me

Go now Scotland and then,

We’ll wave goodbye once again.

Hear us all cheer

Without a tear

And if it all goes wrong don’t come back in a year

Goodbye Scotland goodbye.

Good bye Scotland don't cry.

Sung to the tune of Toot Toot Tootsie

THE CHOCOLATE STRAWBERRY’S

 

The Chocolate Strawberry’s

I have so far concluded

As one of your five a day

May definitely be included

CHOCOLATE COATED RAISINS

 

Chocolate coated raisins

I found out today

Can easily be included

As one of your five a day