ARE YOU WEARING A CROSS?

 

Are you wearing a cross?

So, are you a regular church goer then?

No, I really don’t think it counts

Having sex in the cemetery now and again

VIOLET HIT ROSE

 

Violet hit Rose

Square on the nose

She lost the plot

And Rose cried a lot

 

Noses have bled

Eyes they are red

Violet you’re blue

But what did I do?

WE WERE SHOPPING FOR HOLIDAY CLOTHES

We were shopping for holiday clothes

And we were very nearly done

When my wife reached the swimwear

“Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?”

She asked me so I replied “get a bikini”

'You will never get it all in one”

THE GRAVESIDE SERVICE WAS OVER

 

The graveside service was over,

When there was a clap of thunder,

Followed by a bolt of lightning,

Then a louder clap of thunder

The old man turned and said

“Well, she’s arrived then Vicar”

DARLING LET ME JUST SAY THIS

 

Darling let me just say this

For your future information

If you expect me to follow

The flow of the conversation

 

Then you must at least try

Whenever possible, please say

Whatever you have to say

During the commercials, ok?

LISTEN I AM NOT A MIND READER

 

Listen I am not a mind reader

And I never will be to be fare

But if I ask you what is wrong

All I get in return is a cold glare

My lack of mind-reading skills

Does not prove that I don’t care

IF I ASK YOU WHAT IS WRONG

 

If I ask you what is wrong

And you reply “nothing’s wrong”

I will act as if nothing’s wrong

 

Even though I know you are lying

I will not continue prying

It’s just not worth the hassle trying