A MAN WALKED INTO A CROWDED BAR

A man walked into a crowded bar

With a loaded gun and shouted

"Who’s been shagging my sister?”

In case his intent was doubted

He raised the gun and took aim

And fired the gun to demonstrate

A lone voice shouted from the back

"You don't have enough bullets mate"

DON’T SEE GROWING OLD AS A NEGATIVE

 

Don’t see growing old as a negative

Ageing is like fine wine so

It gets better with age,

But you’ve got some way to go

MY SON HAD A EUREKA MOMENT

 

My son had a eureka moment

And I was quite impressed

He discovered that the volume knob

Could also turn to the left

GREY HAIR IS NOT A GLORIOUS CROWN

Grey hair is not a glorious crown

Worn by a righteous life

But an unwillingness to buy dye

On the part of my wife

MILESTONE 70 # 1

If I'd realized I was going

To live beyond my sixties

I'd have taken better care

Of myself in the sixties

I CONCENTRATE, EVERY SECOND

 

I concentrate, every second

I can never slack

Once my dad let his mind wander,

And it never came back

MILESTONE 70 # 2

You gain knowledge, dignity

Tolerance and serenity

As you get older without a doubt

And then your teeth fall out.