HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOTHER DEAR # 1

 

Happy Birthday, mother dear

May all your wishes come true this year

Apart from the one I will not grant

That one that involves me being pregnant

ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR BY ALL MEANS

Enjoy your birthday this year by all means

Don’t do anything embarrassing at the do

After all you don't have quite as much time

Left to live this one down as you used to.

YES OF COURSE YOU'RE TWENTY NINE

Yes of course you're twenty-nine

It’s so totally believable

With me being twenty-three

I am naturally a little gullible.

I HEARD ON THE GRAPEVINE THAT YOUR BIRTHDAY

 

I heard on the grapevine that your birthday

Was cancelled due to lack of aging!

But now I give you a closer look

I can see that they were exaggerating

THIS CHRISTMAS TIME

 

This Christmas Time

When you celebrate the day

With friends and family

Good spirits on display

When your dining table

Is full to overflowing

Everyone cozily warm

With the firelight glowing

And you sit in your armchair

With your waist band straining

Opening all the presents

When outside its cold and raining

When you have over indulged

To the point of gluttony

Take a moment to think

About the, all too many

Spare a thought for the needy

For the tired and the weary

Or those who are just lonely

The cold and the hungry

The numerous homeless

The defenseless and the helpless

Enjoy this Christmas Time a lot

But think of those who cannot

SHOP EARLY FOR CHRISTMAS

 

It was Christmas eve at the magistrate’s court

And the Magistrate was in charitable mood

And in keeping with the season

Was inclined to show a little latitude

"Now then, what is the charge against you?" 

He asked the unfortunate prisoner

The man in the dock replied

"I was caught Christmas shopping very early sir"

"That doesn't seem like an offence to me.

What do you mean by “very early” man”?

"Well, your Honour." said the defendant,

"It was an hour before the shop was open."

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – SURVIVING CHRISTMAS WITH THE RELATIVES (2018)

 

Miranda (Gemma Whelan) and Dan (Julian Ovenden) and their children live in the run down, rambling country house inherited from her recently deceased parents which they run as a small holding.

Despite its dilapidated, work in progress, state with a team of polish builders’ resident on site, they have invited a house full for Christmas.

Mirandas fading Hollywood actress sister Lyla (Joely Richardson), her alcoholic/drug addict husband Trent (Michael Landes) and their children, Dans oversexed half-sister Vicky (Ronni Ancona), his ex-wife Miriam (Sally Phillips) and addict son Harry (Jonas Moore),

Aunt Peggy (Patricia Hodge) and Uncle John (James Fox), to name but a few.

So, a chaotic Christmas ensues with old sibling rivalry, family squabbles, drunkenness, drug abuse, and infidelities all of which threaten to sabotage the season of goodwill.