EIDOTHEA

 

Sea-nymph Eidothea,

Gifted with prophecy

Daughter of Proteus

The shape-shifting sea God

I WOULD LIKE TO FIND A MOUNTAIN

 

I would like to find a mountain

Where I can be alone

A place of peace and serenity

A truly tranquil zone

And I will sit and wonder why

You left me on my own

YOU MIGHT WELL BE VERY GOOD

 

You might well be very good

I have no doubt about it

But you still can’t make

Chicken salad from chicken shit

I ASKED THE DJ STRAIGHT

 

I asked the DJ straight

Do you do requests mate

Yes, geezer just name it

Turn the volume down a bit

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 216

 Mary had a pretty bird,

Plumage bright and yellow,

Slender legs, upon this bird

Mary didn’t need a fellow

ARE YOU WEARING A FRINGE?

 

Are you wearing a fringe?

I’m sorry it made me cringe

But I have a bit of an aversion

To that Winkleman person

ON MY VERY FIRST DAY AT PRIMARY SCHOOL

On my very first day at primary school

I handed, as instructed, a letter to my teacher

It was addressed to “whom it may concern”

And it had been written by my mother

It read “The opinions expressed by this boy

Are not in any way those of his mother or father”