WHEN YOU MARRY

When you marry

Choose a partner

You love to talk to

Because when

Attraction fades

And lover becomes friend

Because conversation

Maybe all that’s left 

HE WASN’T A SOPHISTICATE

 

He wasn’t a sophisticate

Which for some can be a plus

But he always thought

That a coach was a posh bus

CUSTOMER SATISFACTION

 

I was so unhappy

With the service

At my local café

I wrote an insult

On the table

In tomato ketchup

Before leaving

Which is what I call

Complaining with Relish

THE DRUG MULE SURPRISE

 

The drug mule

Smuggled cocaine

In little plastic eggs

More accustomed

To holding a toy

And that’s what I call

A Kindle Surprise

HIS HEAD WAS SO FULL OF FILTH

 

His head was so full of filth

And dirty thoughts

Which all cantered around

Getting into her shorts

And when the act was culminated,

By all reports

It was clear he wasn’t the only one

With dirty thoughts

HER RED HAIR FALLS

 

As she quietly sleeps

Her red hair falls

In a crimson cascade

Across the fresh

Milk white skin

Of her naked flesh

And as I take in

The breath-taking vista

I sigh to myself, in

Contented admiration

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 203

 

Rub-a-dub-dub,

Margarine in a tub,

Without any butter the table is bare

The crumpets, the muffins,

Bread from the loaf tins

They all need to be buttered thick

For the most satisfyingly simple fare