I WAS ABSOLUTELY GUTTED WHEN I FOUND

 

I was absolutely gutted when I found

My wife was having an affair

A friend Mo, said turn to religion

And she can be stoned in the town square

GET A PENIS ENLARGER

 

“Get a penis enlarger”

My wife once said to me

So, I found myself

Twenty-year-old Kelly

JOHN WAS THROWN OUT OF SCHOOL

 

John was thrown out of school

Because a girl played with his nob

That’s the third school in a year

He won’t easily find another job

WHEN TIMES ARE HARD, A WOMAN

 

When times are hard, a woman

Must resort to sexual intimacies

Due to the high cost of living

She can’t afford the batteries

DUE TO A WATER SHORTAGE IN WOKING

Due to a water shortage in Woking

The Council has issued an edict

And the swimming pools response

Is to close lanes four, five and six 

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 197

 

I saw a ship a-sailing,

A-sailing on the sea.

And, oh, but it was laden

With pretty things for thee

There were comfits in the cabin,

And apples in the hold;

But the ship was taken

By Somali pirates bold

ARE YOU WEARING A BUN?

 

Are you wearing a bun?

That will cause some chat

It’s just a bit old fashioned

But there’s nothing wrong in that

The biggest problem you have

Is it makes your face look fat