I HAVE SOMETHING OF A WEAKNESS

 

I have something of a weakness

I suppose it’s my Achilles

But I’m an old-fashioned letch

So, I like fillies in frillies

I CAN’T WATCH SYLVESTER STALLONE

 

I can’t watch Sylvester Stallone

I find his speech very distracting

He was clearly a graduate

Of the Mumbling school of acting

I HAD TO DUMP MY GIRLFRIEND

 

I had to dump my girlfriend

I met her thru a dating agency

Because she thought that scruples

Was the Russian currency

THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGING

 

I am not opposed to the clocks

Going forward in the spring

But it could be handled better

To make it less exhausting

Take the hour from Friday afternoon

Instead of Sunday morning

PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN

 

When the tragic death

Was announced on the news

Of the Oscar winning actor

My wife didn’t have a clue

Which prompted her to say

Philip Seymour who?

THE CHAUVINISTS ARE COMING

 

As economic migrants, blown

On the easterly breeze

Arrive on our welcoming shores

I am left in a state of unease

Not because they’re foreign

But because they’re from the seventies

IF YOU CAN AFFORD TO BUY

 

If you can afford to buy

Yourself a 3d printer

The first thing to do

Is print another printer