FLANNEL PJ’S

 

In your Red flannel PJ’s

You look quite a picture

Wrapped in the warm

Wool and cotton mixture

 

But as cosy as you look

I will immediately begin

To unbutton your PJ’s

And warm my hands within

WORDS ARE VERY IMPORTANT

 

Words are very important

Encyclopaedia is one I like

But it doesn’t actually mean

A kiddie fiddler on a bike

THE RED BARN MURDER

 

At the Old Red Barn

In a Suffolk village

Maria and William

Had a lovers tryst

 

Romantic young Maria

Thought it was love

And they would elope

And not be missed

 

But he had other plans

And shot her dead

Burying her in the barn

And escaping into the mist

 

But just a year later

Billy paid the price

When he met the hangman

In a different kind of tryst

THE LATEST WAY OF THINKING

 

Apparently the latest

Way of thinking

Is that there are

No such thing as facts

And that’s a fact

A PAIR OF THERMOMETERS

 

What is the difference?

Between a pair of thermometers

Take your time don’t haste

One is oral the other rectal

It’s very simple really

The difference is the taste

VESUVIUS

 

Vesuvius is what

We called my sister Grace

It was because of all the

Eruptions on her face

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 191

 

Christmas is coming,

The stores are getting fat

But no one has put a penny

In this old man’s hat;

There’s not a single penny,

Or a ha'penny to be seen,

I hate Christmas shoppers

They’re so bloody mean