RED FERRARI

 

Me and a Red Ferrari

Are not best suited are we?

For I can get in easily

But can’t get out with dignity

WHITE SHOES

 

Stiletto healed white shoes

Being worn out to a party

Well in my personal view

They make you look tarty

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 190

A wise old owl lived in an oak

He kept to himself, and he seldom spoke

And I think that’s rather anti-social 

ARE YOU WEARING A WIG?

 

Are you wearing a wig?

No, I’m not having a dig

I’m not a fan of them

But this is an ill-fitting item

 

It just doesn’t suit you

I know it’s just my view

I’m not meaning to nag

You look like you’re in drag

I’VE ENROLLED MY WIFE # 3

 

I’ve enrolled my wife

On an evening class

Which should be simple

And not difficult to pass

It deals with the differences

She will have to face

Between a normal handbag

And a bloody Suitcase

ON THE VINE

 

My husband and I were

Visiting a vineyard

We were on holiday

To rekindle our passion

Which due to the side effects

Of his obesity

Sex was restricted

To only a special occasion

 

I’d lost sight of him briefly

Amidst the vines

When I found him

With an erection and at play

I looked at the vines

As he said Semi On, Semi On

I replied, “No not Sémillon

They’re Chardonnay”

HIS LATE GRACE

 

When my uncle

Passed away last night

He was given

The last rites

By a Bishop, who

Missed it very nearly

As he could only

Move diagonally