Wednesday, 27 July 2022

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 184

 

Ring-a-Ring o'Rosies

How I hate runny noses

"A tissue! A tissue!"

Then throw it in the bin!

ARE YOU WEARING A HAT?

 

Are you wearing a hat?

What’s the point of that?

It’s often been said

You have an unsuitable head

And not just for millinery

It’s a little bit scary

And the hat doesn’t help

You made that boy yelp

So take off the hat

And that will be that

The hat will be gone

And the bag put back on

TRAFFIC COP – DO YOU KNOW?

 

“Do you know why I pulled you over?”

The cop asked me like a typical fuzz

“No officer I don’t, I hope you do, 

I think it’s important that one of us does”


ELECTRONIC BANKING # 2

Electronic banking

Is the way it is done

Lightning fast transfers

At the touch of a button

 

Though not necessarily

The fastest way of course

Nothing transfers funds

Faster than divorce 

AS YOU ARE THE VICAR

 

As you are the Vicar

You marry people every day

But it was me who married you

On our wedding day

And your greatest pleasure

Is when I lift up your cassock

And take you from behind

As you kneel on a hassock

CAMILLA AND QUENTIN

 

Camilla Titt-Wank

Went to the hunt ball

And it was well known

She’d have anyone at all

 

She danced all night with

Quentin Tea-Bagg

But he went off at the end

With Oliver Rough-Shagg

TAMARA AND PANDORA

 

Tamara Split-Whiskers

Loved Pandora ffanny-ffarte

Pandy still had her cherry

But Tammy had lost her heart

And though she tried hard

With miss ffanny-ffarte

She still couldn’t prize

Her skinny thighs apart