At Stonehenge, the druids
Exchange bodily fluids
At the temple to the
sun
As the solstice begun
Dressed up like loons
And barking at the
moon
Wednesday, 27 July 2022
AT STONEHENGE, THE DRUIDS
THE GUNFIGHTER
A young cowboy was sat in the saloon
One Saturday night
looking his best
When an old man walked
into the bar
Who was once the
fastest gun in the West
The cowboy sidled up
to the old shootist
He bought him a two
fingered whiskey tot
And without looking at
him he asked
“Can you give me a tip to be a great shot?”
He said, “You're wearing your gun too high,
Tie the holster a
little lower down your thigh”
The kid adjusted his rig then drew his gun
And shot off the piano
player’s bow tie
Then he said, “now, where the hammer
Hits the leather, cut
a notch in your holster”
The kid adjusted his
rig then drew his gun
And shot the cuff link
off piano player
“That's great” said the kid “Got any more tips?”
The shootist said “now go and coat your gun
Thoroughly in axle
grease including the handle”
The kid went outside
returning with it done
“Will this make me a better shot?” he asked
“No” said the old gunman “but Ringo
Will shove that gun
right up your arse,
When he finishes
playing the piano”
MY MUM WENT TO THE SALON
My mum went to the salon
She was in there for
hours
But she didn’t get a
face pack
She was beyond their
powers
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 183
"Who killed Cock Robin?"
"I," said the Sparrow,
"With my bow and arrow,
I killed Cock Robin."
“You’re nicked then
son”
Said Inspector Bird
From Scotland Yard
ARE YOU WEARING A LEER?
Are you wearing a leer?
That’s out of order I
fear
You are lustfully
gazing
At the young and
amazing
With lascivious
thoughts
Ogling good looking
sorts
Well only one of us
can spy
And that letch is I
TRAFFIC COP – I’M SORRY PUTZ
When the police caught me speeding
My eyes were strained
and blinking
I was pulled over by a
putz
Who said “Your eyes
look red,
Have you been
drinking?”
So, with no ifs or
buts
“Your eyes look
glazed”
I responded without
thinking
“Have you been eating
doughnuts?”
MY BROTHER SAYS HIS WIFE IS AN ANGEL
My brother says his wife is an angel
He is deliriously
happy with things
I think he’s lucky as
I can’t wait
To have mine fitted
for her wings
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