ARE YOU WEARING FALSIES?

 

Are you wearing falsies?

How disappointing is that

I thought you were well proportioned

But your chest is really flat

I thought you were a catch

But I was wrong about that

I thought I was getting mackerel

But I ended up with sprat

SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE # 2

As a proud Briton

I will be disappointed

In a strange way

 

Not if Scotland leaves

But more so

That Wales will stay

I HAVE AN ANGEL ON MY DASHBOARD

 

I have an Angel on my dashboard

She’s my special lucky charm

I have an angel on my dashboard

Who’s keeping me from harm

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM

 

A funny thing happened

On the way to the forum

That place devoid

Of propriety or decorum

 

I thought, should I engage?

Or keep well clear

Of the pit of vipers

And the poisonous atmosphere

 

A funny thing happened

On the way to the forum

I had a premonition

Of what was to come

 

So I decided the means

Didn’t justify the ends

So I went to the pub

To meet up with friends

VICTIMS OF THE SPITE

 

From the playground

To the workplace

From the street

To cyber space

 

Anyone who is different

Standing out in a crowd

Is targeted, because

Difference isn’t allowed

 

Its tribal I suppose

Or an animal instinct maybe

The bullies do

Hunt in packs certainly

 

The perpetrators

As far as I can see

Are basically driven

By their own Insecurities

 

Victims of the spite

Have suffered across time

For being themselves

That’s their only crime

LIFE IS TOO SHORT

Life is too short to wake up

In the morning with regret,

So, I think not waking up until

After lunch is the safest bet

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE

The only difference between

A guard dog and mummy

Is that the guard dog will

Let go of you eventually