OUT OF THIS WORLD PRODUCE

 

My supermarkets veg is the best

Normally for quality you can’t beat it

But I bought some rocket salad

That went off before I could eat it

OK STEVE

 

He said “it’s Stephen with a PH”

Which I thought pedantic

But he wasn’t a fussy git at all

He was just very acidic

TAP IT, UNWRAP IT

 

The Chocolate Orange

I have so far concluded

As one of your five a day

It may definitely be included

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 140

 

Ring-a-Ring o'Rosies

Oh, I hate runny noses

A tissue! A tissue!

No don’t wipe it on your sleeve!

ARE YOU WEARING CHANEL?

 

Are you wearing Chanel?

Why do you wear that smell?

At the chip shop when it was quite late

And I asked you out on a date

When you were standing frying fish

You fulfilled my perfect wish

I thought you would smell like that

Because I like the smell of chip fat

CHARITABLE BEQUEST REQUESTS # 2

 

Not happy just to pester me in life

The Red Cross want me instead

To change my last will and testament

To take my money when I’m dead

CHARITY PLEADERS # 1

 

Just 3 pounds a month

Will help them meet their quota

So, the fund raisers can drive

Their 30 grand motor