FAREWELL TO YOUTH

 

I’m getting old

My youth has been relinquished

I’m told my grey hair

Makes me look distinguished

The sad truth is

My ego has been extinguished

COQ AU VAN

 

I tried cooking with wine last night

But it didn’t go very well therein

After five generous glasses

I forgot why I was in the kitchen

MOTHER’S DAY

 

Don’t forget mum on Mother’s Day

A bottle of something I think

And just remember that it is you

That drives her to drink

PHILOSOPHICAL DRINKER

 

It doesn’t matter if the glass

Is half full or half empty

Either is fine

It just means that there is

More than enough room

To add more wine

DEPRESSED DRINKER

I used to have a coping strategy

For when things got grim

I would try to drown my sorrows

But the bastards learned how to swim 

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 137

 

Jack and Jill went up the hill

With their supply of bottled water

What is it with these bloody ramblers?

ARE YOU WEARING A SMILE?

 

Are you wearing a smile?

Because you know all the while

In your own inimitable style

That you are a commandophile