HOMEOPATHIC HUMOUR

 

I told a joke about alternative medicine

And it only raised a smirk

That’s the problem with Homeopathic humour

It doesn’t really work

WHAT A THOUGHTFUL GUY

 

My wife and I walked passed,

A very posh restaurant last night.

"Did you smell that food, it smelt incredible?"

She said and she was quite right

 

Being something of a thoughtful man

I mused as we walked along the street 

“Oh, what the hell she deserves it”

So, I walked her passed again as a treat

SHIRK ETHIC

 

I’m not possessed of the work ethic

But I don’t mind going there

However, the eight-hour wait

To go home is a real nightmare

ALIMONY VENDOR

 

A sign on the vending machine read

This machine takes all your money

And gives nothing in return

I thought not unlike my ex-wife, Honey

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 123

 

When I was a bachelor, I lived by myself,

but people told me not to get left on the shelf

So, I made up my mind and got me a wife

Too late I realised I had surrendered my life

ARE YOU WEARING CLEAN UNDERWEAR?

 

 

Are you wearing clean underwear?

That’s what my mum asked me. I swear

Every time I left the house to go out

Are you wearing clean underwear? She’d shout

As I proceeded swiftly with my fleeing

But her concern was not for my well being

She was worried about her embarrassment

If I were to suffer a serious accident

And be undressed by the nursing staff

Where my dirty pants would raise a laugh

MODERN AUTOMOTIVE ENGINEERING

 

Conceived by savants

Designed by computers

Precision Built by robots

And driven by commuters