BRITISH LADS ABROAD

 

British lads abroad

On the pull

Like what they see

With undiscerning eye

Out to play

Looking for an easy lay

On another 18-30 holiday

 

BRITISH MANHOOD

 

British manhood

Out on the Razz

Have no conscience

Or boundaries

When endowed

With the beer goggles

They have no preferences

If you shaved a pig

And put it in a dress

With white stilettos

Someone would take it home

Given a late enough hour

And sufficient beer

The necessity to shave the pig

Would be redundant 

I LOVE POOH BEAR

 

I love Pooh bear

And Paddington bear

I love my panda bear

And my teddy Bear

But most of all I must declare

I love my honey bare

I LOST MY JOB TODAY

 

I lost my job today, I was sacked

My boss finally drove me to the brink

So, I said “Shhh, just listen to the sound

Of nobody caring what you think”

TIME THE FICKLE FRIEND

 

Time the fickle friend,

though you never wind the spring

the celestial clock ticks on

PICKUP # 4

 

When you’re on the pull

If you want to break the ice

Say something funny

Or say something nice

Be devastatingly witty

Or say something clever

Be complimentary

Or just lie in your endeavour

“Wow that dress looks good on you”

You can complement her

“But laying on my bedroom floor

It would look even better”

FLASH GAME

 

A flasher stepped out from the shadows

In front of an unsuspecting old lady

Who just looked pityingly at him and his offering

For no more than a minute or two maybe

 

She mentally took in his description

200 lbs and about 6ft but no taller

Then he said: "You know what this is don't you?"

She replied, "it looks like a penis, only smaller!"