EVERYONE NEEDS A HOBBY

Everyone needs a hobby

And my dad is no exception

He has built up a rather large

Empty bottle collection

 

There is a name for it

It’ll come to me in a tick

It’s on the tip of my tongue

Oh yes, he’s an alcoholic

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 93

 

Seesaw Margery Daw 

Johnny shall have a new master

He shall earn but a penny a day

Because his employer is a bastard

ARE YOU WEARING LONG UNDERWEAR?

 

Are you wearing long underwear?

Something with its own trap door

Well, no matter how good they look on you

I’d like to see them on my bedroom floor

THE COMMANDO GIRL # 4

 

When no undies you are wearing

Your undercarriage gets an airing

And I will not look on in disgust

Should your skirt be lifted by a gust

When the wind gets a little brisker

And all and sundry see some whisker

I shall be the one who stood and leered

At your well aerated little beard

NONSENSICAL EPISODE # 7

You can take a horse to water

But you can’t teach it to suck eggs

Do unto others before their death

Every dog has a silver lining

Every cloud has his day

Glass houses make jack a dull boy

A bird in the hand is a penny earned

A new broom sweeps many a slip

All roads lead to the stable door

Caesar's wife begins at home

Don't throw the baby out with grandma

A WEASEL AND A STOAT?

 

What's the difference between

A weasel and a stoat?

They can both be used

To make a fine coat

So that’s not the answer

Well, no need to lament

One's weasily recognized

The other stoatly different.

EIN GANG

 

Just a little heads up

When everything's coming your way,

Don’t get too cocky

You’re just in the wrong lane. Ok?