FAMILY INSURANCE

 

Money isn’t everything

That much is very true

But it makes sure the kids

Keep in touch with you

TAKEN QUEER OVER SEAS

 

I’ve just got back from Spain

Where I was taken queer

And not understanding a foreign quack

Was my biggest fear

 

Well, when we got to his gaff

 You’ll never guess what I saw

“English speaking Doctor”

 Written large upon the door

 

I thought what a good idea

A real turn up I would say

Then I got to wonder why

We don’t have them in the UK

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 68

 

Ding dong bell

Pussy's in the well

And that’s where it’s staying

Until it learns not to piss in my garden

SEXUAL PREFERENCES # 16

 

I don’t have a favourite;

I love each and every one

Whether happy or sad

Cheerful or glum

 

I love ballerina Katrina

And piston Kristen

Rave Maive

And oblivion Vivian

 

I love slasher Sasha

And gaily Kayleigh

Greener Meena

And trophy Sophie

 

I love Christian Christine

And the mystical Zen Jen

Pegan Megan

And Zen Jen once again

NHS CUT BACKS # 6

 

The NHS has plans to save money

Which Pharmacologists won’t follow

Because they feel the cuts

Are simply a bitter pill to swallow

NONSENSICAL EPISODE # 2

 

I see Dogs in clogs

Cats in spats

Goats in coats

Flies in ties

Llamas in pyjamas

I think I drink

Too much caffeine

THE USES OF GOOSES # 2

 

Be warned about the use of a goose

If well roasted in goose grease

You will have cooked your goose

And caused a decrease in your geese