THE HABITS OF RABBITS

 

The habits of rabbits

Are of limited scope

How can I be delicate?

The females seldom say nope

 

TRAGIC CARPET RIDE

 

An entrepreneurial friend

Sells exploding prayer mats

Now when he first told me

I thought he was bats

But he’s really doing well

He showed me the proof

The prophets are clearly

Going through the roof

DATING PREMISE

 

When a man puts on his cologne

And a woman puts on perfume

The intention is not primarily

To smell each other I presume

MARITAL DISCOVERY

 

After twenty years of marriage

To my dear lady wife, Mrs McCall

I have discovered what makes her happy,

Absolutely bugger all

THE MORNING AFTER

 

After a wild drunken night

Of drink, drugs, and animal sex

I awoke the next morning

And after finding my specs

I realised I was in bed

With the ugliest of women

And made a resigned sigh

Knowing I’d made it home then

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 67

 

Jack and Jill went up the hill

They planned to do some snogging

But jack tried to get in her pants

So, she whacked him on the noggin

SEXUAL PREFERENCES # 15

 

I don’t have a favourite;

I love each and every one

Whether happy or sad

Cheerful or glum

 

I love warmer Norma

And chilly Millie

Brahma Alma

And misty Kristi

 

I love diva Riva

And the miser Eliza

Expressly Leslie

And viler Isla

 

I love sweet Reet

And henna Sienna

Bonny Bonnie

And better Henrietta

 

I love crabby Gabby

And flabby Abi

Tabby Abi

And shabby Tabbi