NHS CUT BACKS # 3

The NHS has plans to save money

And many are opposed to the suggestion

The Obstetricians feel that the government

Are labouring under a misconception

EXERCISE REGIME WEEK 2

 

You must have an exercise regime

My doctor advised me

But he said it is essential

To build it up very gradually

So, for the second week

I’ve begun to do a little more

I’ve started driving past

A sporting goods store

THE PILSBURY PHILOSOPHY

 

Isn’t life strange?

And it can be quite a dilemma

And occasionally unfair

i.e. The healthiest part of a doughnut

Is the hole, unfortunately

You have to eat through the rest to get there

NIGELA I’M NOT

 

I’m not a domestic goddess

And it’s not something I espouse

If you don’t believe me

Just ask the spouse

He’ll tell you, I only have a kitchen

Because it came with the house

CRS

 

I’ve been diagnosed with CRS

Yes, I think that’s it

I forget what it means

Oh yes “Can’t remember shit”

BREAKING NEWS ABOUT THE OLD

 

Do you know why it is?

That old people like to keep a pet

Is it for the exercise?

Or a bit of company, better yet

 

Well, the truth of it is

And this will leave you all agog

It’s so when they bend down and break wind

They can blame it on the dog

THE END

 

I knew this time would come

I knew there would be an end

So don’t try to justify yourself

And no, we can’t still be friends