LOOKING FOR LOVE

 

I seek your love but

Get only lust, I seek passion

Yet I get only sex

IN AND OUT

 

Outside I was cool

Detached, laidback

Appearing indifferent

 

Inside I was in

Torment, twisted by jealousy

Envy and bitterness

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 53

 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

The people behind could see nothing at all

They asked him to move but he wouldn’t do that

So they pushed him off and he went splat

LOOSE MORALS # 4

 

She made women chatter at the regatta

But she made men quiver on the river

And when she was floating in a punt

There was absolutely nothing to see

SELF ANALYSIS

Are you clinically obese?

Is your alcohol intake quite scary?

Do you like to dress up as a woman?

Then eat, drink and be Mary

WALKERS BAGS OF TASTE # 1

 

Walkers’ crisps should be forced to comply

With trade description legislation

And stop disappointing their customers

With their artificial flavourization

 

When purchasing a bag of Walkers crisps

The refined palate of an epicurean

Would be gravely disappointed if they did not

Taste of Rambler, Hiker or Pedestrian

ARTIE

 

When Artie Shaw

Was the King of Swing

His liquorice stick

Was made to sing

 

With a beat

To tap your toe too

Or melodies

To serenade you

 

Swing to get the kids

A jumping

Tunes to get the blood

A pumping

 

Artie Shaw and his

Tuneful clarinet

The King of Swing

Was as good as they get