Great fun games for the English summer
They don’t have to be
expensive
Play new swear word
Scrabble
It’s a simple game not
for the pensive
All words must be in
common usage
And should be
genuinely offensive
Monday, 7 March 2022
SWEAR WORD SCRABBLE
SEXING FLIES
Joan found her husband George
Indulging in a strange
caper
Stalking about the
kitchen
With a rolled up
newspaper
“What on earth are you doing?”
She asked with annoyance.
“I’m doing battle with flies”
Was his proud response
“Have you killed any yet?”
She asked, walking to the door
“Three male and two female
Is the current score”
“How can you sex a fly?”
Asked a, now interested
Joan
“I killed three on a
beer can;
The other two were on
the phone”
THE COMMANDO WIFE
George looked at his wife on the sofa
With more than the
usual on display
“Are you wearing
underwear?” He asked
In an unusually
interested way
“No” she replied
pleased he’d noticed
“I’m pantie-less” she
said happily unclad
“Thank God for that”
said husband George
“I thought you’d sat
on my kebab”
ALADDIN’S WISH
Aladdin rubbed his lamp
And a Genie did appear
You can have one wish
But only one he made
clear
“I want to live
forever”
Aladdin told the
genie.
“I’m sorry” Came the reply
“You can’t wish for
immortality”
“Living forever
Is against the
regulations
You must think again
And revise your
expectation”
“Do you have your
wish?”
Aladdin answered “Yup”
“I want to live to see
KNIGHT’S FAVOUR
I would have climbed the highest mountain
I would have sailed
the widest sea
I would have fought
the fiercest dragon
No task would have
defeated me
All this I would have
done for the chance
Of getting down with
you all sleazy
But I didn’t even have
to break a sweat
Because it turned out
that you were easy
FEELING A BIT GINGER
There is a Ginger girl I see
Whom I see
professionally
In a strictly sexual
capacity
She is a lady of the
night
A tart or a hooker,
called Delight
Ok she’s a prostitute,
alright?
But I call my sweet
little ho
The dirty Ginger girl
I know
My Orange pay as you
go
Sunday, 6 March 2022
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 39
For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a horseshoe nail oh what tosh.
Ill equipped and poorly lead is why they lost
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