LUVVAGE

 

My pencil case is in love

But not with a pencil

But with two schoolbags

It must be bi-satchel.

KEEN TO BE GREEN

 

Local authorities’ love recycling

It’s a green policy and its one that wins

They want to reduce the carbon footprint

Of the electorate, for their sins

But if they were truly serious

They’d stop making so many recycling bins

FIGHTING TALK

 

“You’re fighting for a just cause”

That is the justification

“You’ll make the world a safer place”

“You’ll protect your nation”

 

These are the politician’s words

Spoken with passion and pride

Spoken away from the line of fire

Spoken from where warmongers hide

 

Men of empty rhetoric

These politicians never see danger

Safe on their leather seats

They never hear shots fired in anger

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 27

 

Itsy Bitsy spider climbing up the spout

Where all the chemical waste comes out

Now Itsy Bitsy spider isn’t quite the same

And can no longer get in the spout again

PUT DOWN # 26

 

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

If he says to you

“What’s going on in that pretty little head honey?”

Just reply to him

“I'm trying to imagine you with a personality”

THE NINE MUSES OF THE ARTS – CLIO (MUSE OF HISTORY)

 

The nine muses

Daughters of Zeus

Inspiring of mortals

And nurturers of the arts

The second was,

The divine Clio

The maker of fame,

Was the muse of history

A parchment scroll in her hands

Clio was the proclaimer

A TRIP TO THE FARM

 

When our class

Visited the local farm

We had a lovely day

 

And on the bus home

We sang a song

About our lovely day

 

The sheep go baa

The cows go moo

The ducks go quack

Chickens cock a doodle doo

 

The shepherd says hi

The cowman says hello

Get off that fucking tractor

We hear the farmer bellow