ASK A STUPID QUESTION

A local reporter

Asks an old lady at her leisure

“What part of being 104

Gives you most pleasure”?

She simply replied to him

“No peer pressure” 

50 SOMETHING

So, you’re 50 something

No need to feel so glum

True you’re no spring chicken

And you’re the mom of a mom

You’re nearer the next milestone

Than you are the last one

But don’t fret about the numbers

Celebrate each day with aplomb

You truly are now a “WOW”

A “wiser older woman”

See the positive in the situation

Try to hold onto that if you can

Don’t think of the loss of youth

Focus on the gaining of wisdom

And if you believe all this rubbish

Then you really are undone

TERMINAL CONCEIT

 

Do you hold yourself in high esteem?

Are you the answer to your dreams?

Then you probably go through life, like as not

Thinking you are slicker than snot

Served hot on a silver platter

You really think that you actually matter

While in truth you’re likened to a cold bogey

Dried out, smeared and unsightly

Stuck to a “pound shop” paper plate

This is a truer reflection of your state

So take heed of this little ditty

And learn a little humility

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 7

 

I had a little hen,

The prettiest ever seen,

Which happily made

For such versatile cuisine

HAPPY BIRTHDAY # 3

 

Well done, you’ve made it

Be proud, be bold

You made the magic number

You’re a wonder to behold

Enjoy it you deserve it

Enjoy and let the day unfold

And don’t let anyone tell you

That you’re now just old

PUT DOWN # 6

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

If he says “I believe in equality

So, you can ask ME out”

Just reply to him sweetly

“Well, if you insist, Get out”.

PICKING FROM THE MENU

 

Looks can be so deceiving

When searching for a lover

If you make an instant judgment

Just hope they can deliver

 

So, ladies beware when choosing

The macho over the wimp

If you expect to get king prawn

You may end up getting shrimp