IF YOU NEVER WENT TO CHURCH

 

If you never went to church

But watched songs of praise

That might not be good enough

When under St Peters gaze

OUR LOCAL CHURCH IS RAISING MONEY

 

Our local church is raising money

For restoration to the steeple

Donors make an online payment

Using the secure system, Papal

MY DOCTOR TOLD ME TO DO SOMETHING

 

My doctor told me to do something

That leaves me breathless

So I’ve started smoking again

Now I’m breathless and stressless

A MAN ENTERED A BEST PUN CONTEST

 

A man entered a best pun contest

And he chose ten puns to submit,

Hoping at least one pun would win

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did

6 SPRITES

 

I went to the shop

To buy 6 Sprites to sup

But when I got home

I realised I’d picked 7 up

TWO FISH WERE IN A TANK

 

Two fish were in a tank

And one said after pondering

“This is a really nice tank

But how do we drive the thing?”

A MAN BOUGHT AN EXPENSIVE GERMAN CAR

 

A man bought an expensive German car

Primarily to impress his friends

Unfortunately, he drove it into a tree

And found out how a Mercedes bends