A man and his dog walk into the pub
Each night to drink with the locals
As the man has a drink, the mans dog
Lies down and then licks his genitals
An offended customer, disgusted asks
“Why does your dog do that man?”
Then owner answers without hesitation
“That’s easy he does it because he can”
When supervising the cooking
Get behind the cook by sitting
Where she would be hard put
To see you just by her left foot
And you will stand a better chance
Of being trod on which will advance
Your human to pick you up to
When your cat has just fallen asleep
Curled on your lap purring contentedly
And looking utterly adorable and sweet
You have to go to the bathroom suddenly
“Everything happens for a reason”
Not a very appropriate old refrain
When you think you’re going to fart
And you follow through on the train
It was a glorious week in June
And I wore my best ensemble
But after Day three at Wimbledon
I hadn’t seen a single Womble
“Have a nice day” he said
And I smiled at him
But I had a dreadful day
So natural I sued him
I went to see Hamilton the musical, but
I didn’t like it when all said and done
It was definitely musical without a doubt
But not one mention of Formula One
