I GOT A BARGAIN ON A LOAD OF STEAK # 3

I got a bargain on a load of steak

But the guy turned out to be a spiv

Five lorry loads of horse steak

Is what I’ve been saddled with

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 432

Little Jack Horner

Sat in the corner,

Eating Christmas pie

As he sat on his bum

He pulled out his thumb,

And poked himself in the eye

IF YOU MEASURED MY LIFE

 

If you measured my life

In dog years instead

Then the inevitable truth

Is I’m already dead

GOURMET BEETROOT CRISPS

 

Gourmet Beetroot crisps

I found out just today

Can easily be included

As one of your five a day

THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION HAS ANNOUNCED

 

The World Health Organization has announced

Dogs can’t get Covid-19, and as there’s no doubt

All the quarantined dogs can now be released

So, let’s be perfectly clear, WHO let the dogs out

SELF ISOLATION HAS BECOME A NECESSITY

 

Self Isolation has become a necessity

As there’s a pandemic on the loose

Some people find isolation frightening

But not me because I’m a recluse

I HAVE JUST HEARD THE LATEST NEWS

 

I have just heard the latest news

About the Pandemic, on the BBC

And I was shocked, an epidemic

Of wandering Pandas terrify me