MY GRANDCHILDREN LIVE IN THE CITY

 

My grandchildren live in the city

And they seem to be happy there

The youngest just started at cursery

That’s where small kids learn to swear

OUR STAR SPRINTER IS NOT A LOOKER

 

Our star sprinter is not a looker

But that doesn’t bother us

We still cheer him to the rafters

But we do call him Fastidious

OMNIBUS ETIQUETTE

 

“When I was on the bus with Dad,

He told me to give up my seat to a lady”

A little boy told his mum, "good boy"

You were right to listen to your daddy”

“But mum you don’t understand”

He said “I was sitting on daddy's knee”   

CERTIFICATION SMALL PRINT

Kate asked, “What are you doing?”   

And her husband replied “Nothing”

“But you’ve been studying our

Marriage certificate for an hour”

He said “Well to be honest Kate

I was looking for the expiration date”

PUT DOWN # 10

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

“How did you get to be so beautiful?”

He may well declare

So just reply to him

“I must've been given your share” 

BELLA DONNA

 

I met the beautiful Daniela

When we shared her umbrella

Then we drank a little Stella

And I said I thought her bella

She said I was quite a fella

So I had my way with Daniela

 

If I saw her now I’d tell her

About the state of my old fella

That turned a funny shade of yella

And the STD clinic fella

Had to employ his own umbrella

After I had my way with Daniela

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 403

 

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a Tuffet

Why not on a chair?

The silly mare