72 Miles From The Sea

Monday, 19 July 2021

Brexit is a terrible name,

It really makes me see red

And sounds like a remedy

For when you are constipated

My girlfriend was striking in appearance

With a face like a rare Chinese thing

Like a classic vase from a great dynasty

Was it Yuan, Liao, no it was Ming-ing

My wife was invited to go

On a girls' night out recently

The invite said “dress to kill”

So she went as Myra Hindley

I phoned the swine flu hotline

When my chest started rattling

Because that was the advice

But all I got was crackling

I've just split up with my girlfriend,

Which actually shocked me to the core

As it was a long-standing relationship

Maybe we should have sat down more

Through all my years alive

And years of wrong and right

I can safely state today

Whether or not it’s polite

I’ve never met a Nigel

That I’ve actually liked

How do you get two

Whales in a car? just Start in

England and drive west.