When the police caught me speeding
My
eyes were strained and blinking
I
was pulled over by a putz
Who
said “Your eyes look red,
Have
you been drinking?”
So
with no ifs or buts
“Your
eyes look glazed”
I
responded without thinking
“Have
you been eating doughnuts?”
The powerful Titan’s
Giants of Greek Mythology
Born of Uranus and Gaea
Rulers of the earth
Brutally overthrown
By the Olympian Gods
I’m happier now I’ve gotten older,
I’ve learned to ignore the negative
And careless what people think
So now it’s easier to be positive
Mum knitted me a jumper
I hate wearing I as I look silly
But I’m a kid so I have to
Especially when mum feels chilly
I chatted to a girl in the pub
And suspecting her
gullibility
I proceeded to proudly
boast
About my special ability
“I can divine when a
woman
Was born, to the very
day
Just by feeling her
breasts
It’s as simple as
child’s play”
“Really? Is that really
true?”
She said “or is it just
a lie
Just so you can feel my
tits
But go on then give it a
try”
So I had a good fondle
And thought she is so dumb
And I teased her nipples
Till they were as fat as my thumb
But she started to get impatient
And I heard her say
“Come on then, what day
was I born”?
I replied, “it was
yesterday”
When we were kings
When
love is young
When
I grow up
When
ladies meet
When
the wind blows
When
night is falling
When
London sleeps
When
New York sleeps
When
strangers marry
When
the bough breaks
When
thief meets thief
When
time ran out
When
the whales came
When
tomorrow comes
When
we are married
When
you’re in love
Are you wearing lederhosen?
Well, that’s a look you could lose
And they make your buttocks squeak
Like a pair of new shoes
