The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're on the toilet
How
is it that the more beautiful the girl is who loves you the easier it is to
dump her
Easily
kids have more energy after a hard days play than after a good night's sleep
Beauty
is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone
Essentially
nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself
Sex
takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble
The
best things in the world are free and worth every penny of it
Hope
that when the plane you are on is late, your transfer isn’t on time
O
God in you we trust; all others pay cash
Men
can be happy with women as long as they don't love them
Even
If we lose nothing by having things go wrong, take all possible care
So
Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position
Pats
on the back are only a few centimeters from kicks up the arse
Unsurprisingly
nothing improves with age
Never
stand between a fire hydrant and a dog
The
magic in the stick is what matters not the length of the wand
Remember
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw
Usually
A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride
There
is no such thing as an absolute truth -- that is absolutely true
Hot
glass looks exactly the same as cold glass
So,
when it seems too good to be true, it probably is
