MY FATHER WAS TRYING TO EXPLAIN

 

My Father was trying to explain

About anaphylactic shock again

And wasn’t doing it very well

I could have explained it in a nutshell

I AM NOT IN ANY WAY INTERESTED IN

 

I am not in any way interested in

An alternative energy supplier

Because if I said I was unhappy

With food I would be a liar

SHE WAS A VERY BIG LASS

 

She was a very big lass

And Apple shaped I suppose

But she was dressed

In quite unsuitable clothes

 

Beige Lycra pedal pushers

And a long white clingy top

They would have looked better

Left hanging in the shop

 

It certainly was a sight

I wouldn’t easily forget

As I watched her in the sun

Looking like a melting cornet

THE LIGHTHOUSE

 

The Lighthouse, with

Lantern burning bright

Stands sentinel

A beacon in the night

Steadfastly gazing out

Its piercing light

Cutting through the dark

Warning those at sea

In peril or plight

And providing all

With its piercing light

In the darkest hour

A comforting sight

WHEN MY GIRLFRIEND SUGGESTED # 3

 

When my girlfriend suggested

We play Doctors and Nurses

I was up for it even when

She told me about the role reverses

 

But when I dressed up in a uniform

With a starched white apron

She buggered off to play

Eighteen holes with a surgeon

ARE YOU WEARING A ONESIE? # 1

 

Are you wearing a onesie?

I didn’t know you were the type

But you have surprised me

And yes, I like the tiger stripe

Well yes, I don’t mind if I do

It’s very soft to the touch

Yes, I’d like to feel inside

Thank you so very much

MY CAT IS A FUSSY EATER # 1

 

My cat is a fussy eater

That’s not uncommon for a Siamese

And for breakfast she will only eat

A bowl of Mice Crispies