LAPTOP HOLIDAY

 

The Laptop Computer

Is an evil invention

To force people to work

At home and on vacation

VERY PETTY

As my granddad would say

Don’t sweat the petty things

Or as Dr Spooner might say

Don’t pet the sweaty things

INSTITUTIONALISED

Marriage is a well-known institution

In which there are winners and losers

First a man will lose his bachelor’s degree

And then the woman gets her Masters

ASK MRS P

The Women who are

Seeking equality

With men are

Lacking ambition sadly

THE LABORS OF HERACLES # 11: THE APPLES OF THE HESPERIDES

 

Heracles when driven mad by the goddess Hera

Murdered his three children and his wife Megara

The Delphic oracle punished him for the murders

By ordering him to perform the Twelve Labors

The labors were set by king Eurystheus his cousin

Get the apples of the Hesperides was labor eleven

The Hesperides or even the Daughters of Evening

Were nymphs assigned by Hera to do the guarding

They were a special type of apples that’s evident

Which the goddess received as a wedding present

They were kept in a grove in the Far Western lands

In the mountains named after Atlas of the Titans

The grove was guarded by a many-headed dragon

A most fearsome babbling creature named Ladon

Each head had its own tongue making no sense at all

And finally, the grove was surrounded by a high wall

In order for his eleventh labor to be of any success

Heracles was told he would need help from Atlas

Atlas the Titan was brother to Zeus’s father Cronus

But in the war against Zeus backed the wrong horse

And so for all time Atlas must support the heavens

By means of a pillar on his shoulders as a penance 

So, he asked Atlas to get the apples from the garden

The Titan agreed, as it relieved him of his burden

He told Heracles to hold the pillar while he went

Into the grove to retrieve Hera’s wedding present

Heracles first needed to deal with the dragon, Ladon

This he did with an arrow over the wall to the garden

Then Heracles took the pillar while Atlas was gone

He returned with the apples and the job was done

But atlas had forgotten how pleasant life could be

Without keeping heaven and earth apart for eternity

So, he told Heracles he would have to fill in for him

For an indeterminate period of time just on a whim

Heracles feigned agreement to the Titans suggestion

But said that he needed for his shoulder a cushion

So, he asked if Atlas would take back the burden

While he went to fetch one and come back again

The Titan graciously obliged him without concern

And Heracles then strolled away never to return

SO SUPERIOR # 4

 

It’s so great to feel superior

To foreigners in oh so many ways

Like expecting today’s cabinet

To be much the same as yesterdays

PRECIOUS LIFE

 

The most precious thing

We have is life after all

Yet it has absolutely

No trade-in value at all