GAY QUESTION

If a gay man married again

Therefore, marrying two men

Would he be guilty of bigamy?

Or would it just be buggermy?

AFFAIR GAME

Colin Smith was a married man but he was having an affair

With his pretty young secretary Caroline since at least last June  

One day while they were at work their passions overcame them

And they rushed to her house, where they made love all afternoon

 

Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, waking quite late

As Colin put on his clothes he told her to take his shoes outside

And rub them in the grass and dirt. Which mystified she did

He slipped into his shoes and drove home arriving after eight

 

“Where have you been?” demanded his wife when he got home

“Darling, I can't lie to you. I'm having an affair with Caroline

And I’ve spent all of this afternoon having wild sex with her

We were both exhausted and fell asleep not realizing the time

 

It was already past seven o’clock when we both finally woke up

The wife suspected from the beginning it was one of his stories

Then she saw his dirty shoes and she said, “You lying bastard!

You've been playing golf all afternoon with your bloody cronies!”

RULE BRITANNIA # 6

 

I am proud to be British

Like many other sages

As my newspapers don’t

Devote all their front pages

To a single bike race

For what seems like ages

THE LABORS OF HERACLES # 04: THE ERYMANTHIAN BOAR

Heracles when driven mad by the goddess Hera

Murdered his three children and his wife Megara

The Delphic oracle punished him for the murders

By ordering him to perform the Twelve Labors 

The labors were set by king Eurystheus his cousin

It was in Arcadia for the fourth labor he was given

His quest was to hunt the huge Erymanthian boar

And capturing the boar alive was labor number four

He immobilized the boar on Mount Erymanthus

Then carried it back on his shoulder to Eurystheus

BIMBETTE AND THE BUILDER

 

Bimbette saw a builder called Paddy one day in a bar

And she noticed on one of his wellies the letter R

Then she saw something odd on the other boot as well

She noticed that the other welly bore the letter L

Curiosity got the better of her, so she asked Paddy

“Scuse me there are letters on your boots I can see”

Paddy smiled at her and said, “It’s quite simple really”

“The one with the R on it is for my right foot you see

And the welly with the L on it goes on my left one”

Bimbette stood blankly for a while after he was done

Then suddenly the light of understanding flickers

“Blimey! So that's why I’ve got C&A on my knickers”

NEIGHBORS FROM HELL

 

Norma is just getting out of the shower when she hears their doorbell ring

Husband Jay who’s getting in the shower says “see who’s at the door darling”

So, Norma wraps herself up in a towel and runs down the stairs to answer it

She opens the front door and standing there is her next-door neighbor Sanjit

Before she could say a word Sanjit said as soon as she had opened the door

“I'll give you five hundred pounds to drop the towel you’re wearing to the floor

Norma thought for a second then dropped the towel and stood naked before him

He looked over every inch of her wet naked slender form, well toned and slim

Then without taking his eyes off her he handed her the money and was away

Excited at her windfall, Norma put the towel back on and ran upstairs to Jay

But before Norma had a chance to tell him of her good fortune with the money

Her husband shouted out from the shower, “Who was that at the door honey?”

Norma still a little flushed replied to him “It was Sanjit from next door actually”

“That’s Great,” Jay said, “Did he give you the five hundred pounds he owes me?”

BETTER DEAD THAN RED

 

Bimbette suspected that her boyfriend Fred was cheating on her

So, she went out and bought herself a gun to end the sordid affair

She went to his house and when she entered found Fred was in bed

But she found that he was not alone but in the arms of a redhead

Well, Bimbette was beside herself and she was incredibly angry

How could he betray her with a great busty redheaded old floozy?

She opened her bag took out the gun and put it to her blonde head.

He said, “No don't do it baby” she replied, “Shut up, you're next Fred!”