OH GOD

 

Why oh why I just can’t see

Why God created the bee

The only reason I can see

Is because he liked the honey

 

Why, is my interlocutor?

Did God create the alligator?

My conclusion at this stage

They make very good luggage

 

Why oh why I must remark

Why did God create the shark?

After eons here’s the scoop

All I can say is shark fin soup

 

Why oh why I cannot grasp

Did God create the wasp?

I cannot think of anything

Wasps are simply irritating

 

Why oh why I do not know

Did God create the mosquito?

There is no reason as I say

He must have had a bad day

 

Why oh why for heaven’s sake

Did God ever create the snake?

A bad idea I’ve always felt

But they do make a good belt

 

Why oh why I ask with no rider

Why did God create the spider?

Common sense it just defies

Though they do eat the flies

 

Why oh why to heaven I cry

Why did God create the fly?

They don’t have a nice song

I think god just got it wrong

 

Why I’ve been asking for a while

Did God create the crocodile?

Not a creature that I would choose

But they make very good shoes

VERY PHILOSOPHICAL

 

Abstract thoughts in civilization

Represent rational investigation

There is absolutely no substitution

For a genuine lack of preparation

The careful and precise application

Of terror is also a form of communication

Follow these without any hesitation

And enjoy the looks of consternation

HANDS ON

 

The trouble with life is that its only when

You’re halfway through which is a sin

You realize that actually it’s for real

And it’s a “participation” kind of deal

FRUITFUL LIFE

 

If life deals you lemons

Make lemonade they said

If it deals you tomatoes

Make Bloody Mary’s instead

PHILOSOPHICAL

 

Philosophy has often been used to measure

Presence, existence, or extent of civilization

Philosophers seek knowledge using abstracts

As well as established rational investigation

To give you a fore taste of philosophical life

Here are a just few gems to get you through

One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday

Or maybe Indecision is the key to flexibility

The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant

Happiness is merely the remission of misery

I have seen the truth and it makes no sense

This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it

Or sometimes too much drink is not enough.

I hope these have set your mind at rest a bit

MEDICAL TRAINING

Even a Native American medicine man

Or a witch-doctoring quack

Cannot tell which way the train went

Just by looking at the track

MANDLESON THE FIRST

 

When the champagne socialists came to power

They would have liked the queen put in the tower

But in order to get their changes to the lords

A compromise was required of the Blairite hordes

A deal was struck to keep the Queen on the throne

But Liz wanted the decree in words of her own

Mandy said, “look sweetheart read it as written

And you keep the castle and stay Queen of Britain"