I spent two hours defrosting
The fridge yesterday
Although my darling wife
Prefers to call it foreplay
Friday, 26 February 2021
WIDOWERS RECOMPENSE
I am now a lonely widower
And all my buddies are dead
But there are compensations
That must definitely be said
There’s life in the old dog yet
That’s all I have to say,
As I go to the retirement home
For my fifty shades of grey
SPICE GIRL
It was the plan of my wife
To spice up our love life
This involved her dressing up
To encourage me to tup
Now I have to say I didn’t mind
Watching her bump and grind
But as she played her sexy role
She didn’t dance around a pole
Nor gyrate upon my lap
To encourage my old chap
But even with all the gyrating
My libido was still hesitating
In fact there wasn’t a glimmer
As she danced around her Zimmer
GETTING INTO FLORA
"I want to buy flowers for my girlfriend"
John said to the Florist
"Of course Sir, what is it you're after?"
The florist asks to assist
After a moment John replied
"Well, a shag would be top of my list"
STAGNANCY TEST
The way to help a blonde
Get
a positive pregnancy test
Is
to ejaculate into her shoes
ONE FOR THE POT
Two missionaries are cooking in a pot
The
natives are dancing round a lot
Every
fifth circuit the dancers made
One
man broke away from the parade
And
with his club he hit a missionary
On
the head which seems unnecessary
The
chief is quite alarmed by all this
And
demands to know what is amiss
“These
men will be boiled and eaten
Why
then do they need to be beaten”?
“Why
do you keep hitting the edibles”?
“Because
they’re eating the vegetables”
I PICKED UP A HITCHHIKER TODAY
I picked up a hitchhiker today
I know you’re not supposed to
But as I knocked him down
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