I THOUGHT I’D TRY TOSSING A PANCAKE

 

I thought I would try tossing a pancake

Well, that turned out to be a big mistake

The first three didn’t leave the pan at all

The next two were sliding down the wall

The only one dispatched with any grace

Then splashed hot fat right in my face

TOSSING THE PANCAKE

 

Tossing the pancake

How hard could it be?

Well quite difficult

Which surprised me

What an awful mess

After the first three

I gave up after four

That landed on me

TOSSING A PANCAKE

 

Tossing a pancake

I can do that

Just get a fry pan

Heat up the fat

Mix up the batter

As easy as that

One on the ceiling

One on the cat

One on the door

One on the mat

One on my head

Like a sweet sticky hat

HAZARDOUS HOSIERY

 

After an accident on the motorway

Involved a number of vehicles today

A trailer jackknifed and shed its load

Of tights and stockings in the road

The spokesperson for the traffic cops

Has announced there may be holdups

THE WHITE HORSE IN

 

A white horse walked into a pub

And ordered a pint and some grub

The barman was taken by surprise

At first, he couldn’t believe his eyes

And although at first, he was unsure

He soon recovered his composure

Not used to a horse in this location

He tried a to start up a conversation

He said, “I don’t know if you knew

We have a whisky named after you”

“Really?” the horse asked curiously

“You have a whisky named Jeremy?”

CLUBBING IT

 

I have started to think that dads to old

For clubbing but he just will not be told

He refuses even to listen to my chatter

And doesn’t see why age should matter

He says that he’s not as fit as in the past

But the baby seals don’t move that fast

LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE, #4

 

The Axiom of Cahn

States without questions

When all else fails

Read the bloody instructions