Why do you hold back?
Why can’t you go all the way?
“I love you” those are the words
That I want to hear you say
Don’t be half hearted
I need you one hundred percent
I don’t want you to be unsure
I want you to be content
You have to be sure
Content as I am in my choice
But you are not are you?
I can hear it in your voice
You don’t feel the same as I
I don’t make your pulse race
Or your heart skip a beat
I’m right; I can see it on your face
Love isn’t a one-way street
It has to flow both ways
But it isn’t flowing to me
Not even on the best of days
Then it’s over and done
I won’t have half measures
It has to be all or nothing
Not just the pleasures
I need to be “the one”
I won’t be your second best
I won’t invest my love
With no prospect of interest
It’s sad when love ends
And a couple have to part
But I only feel regret
That I never reached your heart
Tuesday, 21 September 2010
YOU HAD ME LOVING YOU
You had me loving you from day one
And I had you loving me when it begun
But somewhere along the way
Your cheating heart decided to stray
You had me loving you totally
And I thought I had you loving me
But now your heart resides elsewhere
And you have left me in utter despair
You are still the one that I adore
But you don’t love me anymore
You still have me loving you totally
But I no longer have you loving me
And I had you loving me when it begun
But somewhere along the way
Your cheating heart decided to stray
You had me loving you totally
And I thought I had you loving me
But now your heart resides elsewhere
And you have left me in utter despair
You are still the one that I adore
But you don’t love me anymore
You still have me loving you totally
But I no longer have you loving me
A Little bit Of Humour
ABBREVIATED IRONY
I have often thought it ironic
If not positively absurd
That the term, abbreviated
Is an eleven letter word
THE EXORCIST
There is a ghost in my house
A poltergeist in nature
And I am determined to see
Its imminent departure
I have secured the services
Of an expert of eminence
An exorcist of renown
To un-haunt my residence
He is not a cheap solution
To my poltergeist problem
But the spirit has to go
Before I end up in an asylum
But the price must be met
This was sternly stressed
For if I default on the fee
The house will be repossessed
THE ABSENT MINDED OCTOGENARIAN
An octogenarian visited his doctor
'I think I'm getting senile” he said
The doctor replied “I don’t think you are senile
Let’s look for a different diagnosis instead”
“But I keep forgetting to do up my fly”
The old man said “After I’ve been for a pee”
The doctor smiled and then replied
“Not opening your fly before you start, that’s senility”
I have often thought it ironic
If not positively absurd
That the term, abbreviated
Is an eleven letter word
THE EXORCIST
There is a ghost in my house
A poltergeist in nature
And I am determined to see
Its imminent departure
I have secured the services
Of an expert of eminence
An exorcist of renown
To un-haunt my residence
He is not a cheap solution
To my poltergeist problem
But the spirit has to go
Before I end up in an asylum
But the price must be met
This was sternly stressed
For if I default on the fee
The house will be repossessed
THE ABSENT MINDED OCTOGENARIAN
An octogenarian visited his doctor
'I think I'm getting senile” he said
The doctor replied “I don’t think you are senile
Let’s look for a different diagnosis instead”
“But I keep forgetting to do up my fly”
The old man said “After I’ve been for a pee”
The doctor smiled and then replied
“Not opening your fly before you start, that’s senility”
Ooh Err
GLORY OF THE DAWN
Oh to awake at dawn
Awaking with the horn
To sport a morning glory
Was highly satisfactory
A magnificent early riser
With which to surprise her
But alas that was in my youth
And to tell the honest truth
Now my poor dormant muscle
Can barely raise a chuckle
THE CALL OF THE WILD
Not pampered or preened
Nor sculptured or shaped
Not tidied or groomed
Nor shaven or scraped
For neat and manicured
Well, nothing could be fouler
For we like it as nature intended
An untamed hairy growler
No French landing strips
Or Brazilian styled
Just wild and untamed bush
Because we like our beaver wild
DEFLATED
I used to rise at dawn
And marvel at my erection
Such a thing of beauty
So wonderful in its perfection
But those days are behind me
Its flaccid now upon inspection
And to raise it from its flaccidity
I must consume some blue confection
And thus perform a miracle rising
Akin to the resurrection
Oh to awake at dawn
Awaking with the horn
To sport a morning glory
Was highly satisfactory
A magnificent early riser
With which to surprise her
But alas that was in my youth
And to tell the honest truth
Now my poor dormant muscle
Can barely raise a chuckle
THE CALL OF THE WILD
Not pampered or preened
Nor sculptured or shaped
Not tidied or groomed
Nor shaven or scraped
For neat and manicured
Well, nothing could be fouler
For we like it as nature intended
An untamed hairy growler
No French landing strips
Or Brazilian styled
Just wild and untamed bush
Because we like our beaver wild
DEFLATED
I used to rise at dawn
And marvel at my erection
Such a thing of beauty
So wonderful in its perfection
But those days are behind me
Its flaccid now upon inspection
And to raise it from its flaccidity
I must consume some blue confection
And thus perform a miracle rising
Akin to the resurrection
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 155
Pat a cake, Pat a cake, Bakers man
Bake me a cake as fast as you can;
Full of E numbers and artificial flavouring
Then microwave it until the oven pings
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 156
Tom, Tom of Islington,
Married a wife on Sunday,
And that’s all I will tell
Because to be honest it doesn’t end well
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 157
Three wise men of Gotham
Went to sea in a bowl:
Their wisdom was a misconception
They died and that’s natural selection
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 158
There was a little man
Who wooed a little honey;
and she was wooed and wooed and wooed
But not as wude as he
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 159
"Broken chairs to mend"
"Broken chairs to mend"
If I'd not gone to Argos
With money to spend,
I never would cry
"Broken chairs to mend"
Pat a cake, Pat a cake, Bakers man
Bake me a cake as fast as you can;
Full of E numbers and artificial flavouring
Then microwave it until the oven pings
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 156
Tom, Tom of Islington,
Married a wife on Sunday,
And that’s all I will tell
Because to be honest it doesn’t end well
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 157
Three wise men of Gotham
Went to sea in a bowl:
Their wisdom was a misconception
They died and that’s natural selection
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 158
There was a little man
Who wooed a little honey;
and she was wooed and wooed and wooed
But not as wude as he
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 159
"Broken chairs to mend"
"Broken chairs to mend"
If I'd not gone to Argos
With money to spend,
I never would cry
"Broken chairs to mend"
THE SHADOW OF GOLGOTHA
Our lord beaten and bloody
Must die like a criminal
To add insult upon injury
Atop his tousled curls
Was set a thorny crown
Pressed into his scalp
He carried his cross
Upon his bloodied back
Through narrow streets
To the baying of the crowds
Then onto the hill of Calvary
Where the prince of peace
Was nailed to his cross of pain
And dealt the final blow
His side pierced by a spear
His earthly life ebbing away
Through the open wound
He called out to God
But not for vengeance
He asked that they be forgiven
And his cross of pain
Cast a Holy shadow
Across the world
That reached every corner
But the shadow cast
Was not one of darkness
But one of light
A divine light
The light of love
Which still shines today
For it is the eternal light of God
Must die like a criminal
To add insult upon injury
Atop his tousled curls
Was set a thorny crown
Pressed into his scalp
He carried his cross
Upon his bloodied back
Through narrow streets
To the baying of the crowds
Then onto the hill of Calvary
Where the prince of peace
Was nailed to his cross of pain
And dealt the final blow
His side pierced by a spear
His earthly life ebbing away
Through the open wound
He called out to God
But not for vengeance
He asked that they be forgiven
And his cross of pain
Cast a Holy shadow
Across the world
That reached every corner
But the shadow cast
Was not one of darkness
But one of light
A divine light
The light of love
Which still shines today
For it is the eternal light of God
THE ANNUAL BIRTHDAY BBQ BASH 2010
Don’t the years go quick?
It’s another birthday BBQ
It’s that time of year again
When acquaintance is renewed
When family and friends
Come affably together
To eat a hearty meal outdoors
And sod the English weather
The beer and wine is chilled
The buffet has been prepared
The BBQ is well alight
No planning has been spared
So everything is set fair
Most of the guests are here
But never wanting to be the first
Ted and Rene are last to appear
So a brace of Ted’s, a pair of Paul’s
Tina and Becky, Rosemary and Rene
Not to forget Gordon and Wendy
Were all assembled at the scene
I should also mention the children
As they are part of the family
But we kept them locked away
And they were forgotten easily
We sat in the quiet shade
Beneath the big gazebo
Erected against the expected rain
That thankfully failed to show
At last its time to eat
And excitement is running high
As everyone stood up
Tina poked Rosemary in the eye
And what did the assailant do
When seeing the result of this act
Was she humbly apologetic?
No, she laughed out loud in fact
Then suddenly a disaster occurred
Unrivalled at any previous year
And the nature of this calamity
We were running out of beer
So a quick dash out in the car
To the “Happy Shopper” store
And hopefully unnoticed
Return to home once more
I returned and an eerie hush descended
Silencing the function
But nothing sinister occurred
It was simply quiet consumption
When the pudding plates were empty
And glasses were refreshed
The dishwasher could be heard
Washing away the mess
The afternoon passed nicely by
In comfortable affability
With moments of silliness
And not a small amount of frivolity
Tina with hand outstretched
With a ruby ring on her finger
Like the time of her engagement
“Oh look see the light linger”
As usual on these occasions
The cat got all the attention
Not the birthday boy and BBQ chef
I just thought that I would mention
And when enough alcohol was drunk
Tea and coffee arrived instead
Not that anyone got smashed
Only a glass, and that was Ted
There were uninvited guests
Flies and wasps descended
But traps were set for the Jaspers
And one got decapitated
All too soon the time had come
For folk to wend their way
And fond fairwells were said
Until we meet on another day
Then came the time to draw a breath
And reflect on the festivity
Then open another can of beer
And say happy birthday to ME
It’s another birthday BBQ
It’s that time of year again
When acquaintance is renewed
When family and friends
Come affably together
To eat a hearty meal outdoors
And sod the English weather
The beer and wine is chilled
The buffet has been prepared
The BBQ is well alight
No planning has been spared
So everything is set fair
Most of the guests are here
But never wanting to be the first
Ted and Rene are last to appear
So a brace of Ted’s, a pair of Paul’s
Tina and Becky, Rosemary and Rene
Not to forget Gordon and Wendy
Were all assembled at the scene
I should also mention the children
As they are part of the family
But we kept them locked away
And they were forgotten easily
We sat in the quiet shade
Beneath the big gazebo
Erected against the expected rain
That thankfully failed to show
At last its time to eat
And excitement is running high
As everyone stood up
Tina poked Rosemary in the eye
And what did the assailant do
When seeing the result of this act
Was she humbly apologetic?
No, she laughed out loud in fact
Then suddenly a disaster occurred
Unrivalled at any previous year
And the nature of this calamity
We were running out of beer
So a quick dash out in the car
To the “Happy Shopper” store
And hopefully unnoticed
Return to home once more
I returned and an eerie hush descended
Silencing the function
But nothing sinister occurred
It was simply quiet consumption
When the pudding plates were empty
And glasses were refreshed
The dishwasher could be heard
Washing away the mess
The afternoon passed nicely by
In comfortable affability
With moments of silliness
And not a small amount of frivolity
Tina with hand outstretched
With a ruby ring on her finger
Like the time of her engagement
“Oh look see the light linger”
As usual on these occasions
The cat got all the attention
Not the birthday boy and BBQ chef
I just thought that I would mention
And when enough alcohol was drunk
Tea and coffee arrived instead
Not that anyone got smashed
Only a glass, and that was Ted
There were uninvited guests
Flies and wasps descended
But traps were set for the Jaspers
And one got decapitated
All too soon the time had come
For folk to wend their way
And fond fairwells were said
Until we meet on another day
Then came the time to draw a breath
And reflect on the festivity
Then open another can of beer
And say happy birthday to ME
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