MY COOKIE LAMENT
Oh what a pleasure they represent
Such sinful pleasure I’ll not repent
Whether foreign fare of strange accent
Or posh ones made for lady and gent
Or those down the bargain basement
Even with broken ones I am content
But I must cease those moments spent
Devouring the cookies heaven sent
And sing loud my sad cookie lament
Of a man left alone in his torment
For as the treat that they represent
I have given cookies up for lent
GETHSEMANE
In that favoured retreat
Of Gethsemane’s garden
Did the Prince of peace
In his agonies
Sweat blood upon
That fertile ground
Forsaken by his father
Doubting his destiny
And how wretchedly betrayed
By that simple Judas kiss
ON A HILL IN CALVARY
On a hill in Calvary
In a savage unenlightened time
Nailed upon a rugged cross
By brutal hand
They thought to kill a man
To snuff out his light
That light of purest love
Unquenchable, indestructible
On that hill in Calvary
He died for us
The shadow of that cross
Cast upon the bloody land
Was an illuminating shadow
That spread light and love
Shining across millennia
Unquenchable, indestructible
On that hill in Calvary
He died for us
In that savage unenlightened time
Murdered by brutal hand
Humiliated, dehumanised
But through his love for us
And his sacrifice for us
He redeemed us
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
MR GLISTEN COMES TO TOWN
The snow has come its falling fast
Its time to dance about and cheer
Soon it will be time to build a snowman
I build the same one every year
When the snow is lying deep and fresh
I go to the cupboard in my room
Where I get his hat, gloves and scarf
And of course his birchwood broom
Mum says “don’t you stay out long”
But she knows that I don’t listen
She knows that it takes some time
To build the perfect Mr Glisten
I always start in the same place
And make the body large and round
For his head I roll a smaller ball
Rolling it on the snowy ground
Soon he stands up taller than me
Rising up from the fallen snow
Each year it takes a little longer
As like me each year he grows
Down his front go pebble buttons
From his neck down to the floor
His stick arms wear his gloves
Which don’t really fit him anymore
Then I put on his scarf and hat
His birch broom stands by his side
Marbles to make his eyes shine
And a stick mouth smiling wide
Last the carrot nose goes in place
And I step back and a moment spend
Gazing at the happy snowman face
Then I say “Hello my old friend”
Its time to dance about and cheer
Soon it will be time to build a snowman
I build the same one every year
When the snow is lying deep and fresh
I go to the cupboard in my room
Where I get his hat, gloves and scarf
And of course his birchwood broom
Mum says “don’t you stay out long”
But she knows that I don’t listen
She knows that it takes some time
To build the perfect Mr Glisten
I always start in the same place
And make the body large and round
For his head I roll a smaller ball
Rolling it on the snowy ground
Soon he stands up taller than me
Rising up from the fallen snow
Each year it takes a little longer
As like me each year he grows
Down his front go pebble buttons
From his neck down to the floor
His stick arms wear his gloves
Which don’t really fit him anymore
Then I put on his scarf and hat
His birch broom stands by his side
Marbles to make his eyes shine
And a stick mouth smiling wide
Last the carrot nose goes in place
And I step back and a moment spend
Gazing at the happy snowman face
Then I say “Hello my old friend”
DECEMBER RESPITE
It was a cold and gray December day
With a biting wind that took your breath away
My errands run I headed towards the pub
Where I took refuge in the saloon bar
I made myself comfortable beside the fire
And prepared to get on the outside of a large brandy
My eyes were drawn to the centre of the room
Where sat a striking strawberry blonde
She was sitting with her legs crossed
A pen in one hand a drink in the other
She was concentrating on something
A crossword clue or perhaps a Sudoku
And her bottom lip pursed slightly downward
Almost like a wilting pink rose petal
Then her eye kind of crinkled up
That combined with a slight inclination of her head
Gave me the impression she was confused
I assumed over what she was studying
Then I noticed a flash of golden light in her hair
As if her strawberry curls had ignited
But a shaft of sunlight had burst through the grey December skies
And I realised the sun had made her squint
This in turn screwed up her nose
Then caused her to sneeze
And she sneezed quite indelicately
Then again and again
This fit of sneezing had an added interest to me
As apart from the obvious effects
The shaft of sunlight had rendered her blouse transparent
And each sneeze caused her breasts to rearrange themselves
Within her non existent blouse
And her sneezing fit had taken on a more sensual quality
But alas all too soon the sneezing stopped
But I’m pleased to say her breathing had not
And I watched with fascination
As with each subsequent breath she took
Her breasts reshaped themselves inside her bra
She was blissfully unaware that her blouse was now translucent
And that each adjustment she made to her straps
Served only to more sharply define her assets
But all good things must come to an end
And thanks to a thoughtless cloud
The sunlight was snuffed out
It had been a most pleasant respite
Studying her most wondrous topography
It’s amazing how the little things in life
Can brighten up the dullest of winter days
It may have been an un-gentlemanly thing to do
Ungallant I suppose not to have averted my gaze
But she only had herself to blame
On a cold and gray December day
She should have been wearing a vest
With a biting wind that took your breath away
My errands run I headed towards the pub
Where I took refuge in the saloon bar
I made myself comfortable beside the fire
And prepared to get on the outside of a large brandy
My eyes were drawn to the centre of the room
Where sat a striking strawberry blonde
She was sitting with her legs crossed
A pen in one hand a drink in the other
She was concentrating on something
A crossword clue or perhaps a Sudoku
And her bottom lip pursed slightly downward
Almost like a wilting pink rose petal
Then her eye kind of crinkled up
That combined with a slight inclination of her head
Gave me the impression she was confused
I assumed over what she was studying
Then I noticed a flash of golden light in her hair
As if her strawberry curls had ignited
But a shaft of sunlight had burst through the grey December skies
And I realised the sun had made her squint
This in turn screwed up her nose
Then caused her to sneeze
And she sneezed quite indelicately
Then again and again
This fit of sneezing had an added interest to me
As apart from the obvious effects
The shaft of sunlight had rendered her blouse transparent
And each sneeze caused her breasts to rearrange themselves
Within her non existent blouse
And her sneezing fit had taken on a more sensual quality
But alas all too soon the sneezing stopped
But I’m pleased to say her breathing had not
And I watched with fascination
As with each subsequent breath she took
Her breasts reshaped themselves inside her bra
She was blissfully unaware that her blouse was now translucent
And that each adjustment she made to her straps
Served only to more sharply define her assets
But all good things must come to an end
And thanks to a thoughtless cloud
The sunlight was snuffed out
It had been a most pleasant respite
Studying her most wondrous topography
It’s amazing how the little things in life
Can brighten up the dullest of winter days
It may have been an un-gentlemanly thing to do
Ungallant I suppose not to have averted my gaze
But she only had herself to blame
On a cold and gray December day
She should have been wearing a vest
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES, AGAIN
# 12
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To spend some time with each other
Jack failed to rise
Jill raised her eyes
Then went off to find his big brother
# 13
Christmas is coming, the Geese are getting fat
The bird is a little fatty but I don’t mind that
If you haven’t got a Goose then a Turkey will do
If you haven’t got a Turkey, I’m not dining with you
# 14
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
They took with them a bucket
Jack made a play
Jill said “no way”
So he said to himself “oh bother”
# 15
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some snogging.
But on the way
They met Ray
And spent the afternoon dogging
# 16
Jack asked Jill
Are you on the pill?
As I have no form of protection
Jill looked grim
Then said to him
Where he could stick his erection
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To spend some time with each other
Jack failed to rise
Jill raised her eyes
Then went off to find his big brother
# 13
Christmas is coming, the Geese are getting fat
The bird is a little fatty but I don’t mind that
If you haven’t got a Goose then a Turkey will do
If you haven’t got a Turkey, I’m not dining with you
# 14
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
They took with them a bucket
Jack made a play
Jill said “no way”
So he said to himself “oh bother”
# 15
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some snogging.
But on the way
They met Ray
And spent the afternoon dogging
# 16
Jack asked Jill
Are you on the pill?
As I have no form of protection
Jill looked grim
Then said to him
Where he could stick his erection
SHE CAME IN THE NIGHT
It was in the early spring
When nature causes sap to rise
Before the dawn in the early hours
When from the shadows she emerged
With an ethereal quality
She moved slowly in the half light
Of the flickering candlelight
Revealing her form in snapshots
Naked but for the flimsiest garb
Something filmy, delicate and sheer,
Which hung from her sylphish form
Like a fine cloak of gossamer
A delicate silken web covered with dew
As she came closer her scent assailed my senses
Initially it cloyed in my throat, sickly sweet
Then intoxicated me like strong wine
Then she stood before me
Wearing the light gauzy fabric
Diaphanous and insubstantial
Which rendered her naked to my eyes
And I gazed into the hypnotic green of hers
The spell was broken by her sweet breath
Which plumed between us in the cold air
In rhythm to the heaving of her chest
Her breasts crowned by her arousal
My eyes moved from the erect sentinels
To the sable triangle below her soft belly
Then returned to be once again entranced
By the sultry green eyes of the seductress
In a silken movement she discarded the flimsy garment
And moved closer, only millimeters away
So close I could feel the beating of her heart
And with every breath she took
Her nipples gently brushed against my skin
Then I felt her hands on my skin
And electricity seemed to move between us
Her touch, soft and delicate on my skin
And as they moved across my body
It felt as though I was being wrapped in silk
Her lips pressed gently against my skin
As she kissed my chest, my neck, my throat
Then up to my cheek and finally my lips
Where she moistly kissed my mouth
Then without warning she became animal and urgent
As she pushed me onto the bed
Her nails dug deep into my flesh
And her mouth pressed hard against mine
Her tongue was darting into my mouth like a piston
Her hands sought me out and found me hard and pulsing
She tugged at my hardness, then enveloped me
Immersing me in her, coating me in warm honey
Her muscles were tight about me
As all at once she was rising and falling on me
Her mouth left mine and her tongue explored my ear
And her sharp teeth chewed at my lobe
Deep rasping breaths turned into loud animal moans
As her exertions became more urgent
Her mouth returned to mine as her passions grew
And when the first orgasm rippled through her
Her kisses turned to bites and she bit my lip
Then she began to lose control and she lost the rhythm
I gripped tight on her hips and imposed my beat
Her moans had turned to wails
And she whipped me with her hair
As she cast her head back and fourth with each stroke
Then that moment arrived
When we both stood upon the edge,
Of that most delicious precipice
Between the bestial coupling, primeval and base
And that joyful release of climax
I exploded inside her with an involuntary grunt
And she let out a banshee wail
All of a sudden I was wide awake
Laying alone, my skin moist with sweat
The bed in total disarray
I was breathing hard and
I imagined I could still smell her scent
And as I moistened my lips
I detected something odd
The metallic taste of blood on my tongue
When nature causes sap to rise
Before the dawn in the early hours
When from the shadows she emerged
With an ethereal quality
She moved slowly in the half light
Of the flickering candlelight
Revealing her form in snapshots
Naked but for the flimsiest garb
Something filmy, delicate and sheer,
Which hung from her sylphish form
Like a fine cloak of gossamer
A delicate silken web covered with dew
As she came closer her scent assailed my senses
Initially it cloyed in my throat, sickly sweet
Then intoxicated me like strong wine
Then she stood before me
Wearing the light gauzy fabric
Diaphanous and insubstantial
Which rendered her naked to my eyes
And I gazed into the hypnotic green of hers
The spell was broken by her sweet breath
Which plumed between us in the cold air
In rhythm to the heaving of her chest
Her breasts crowned by her arousal
My eyes moved from the erect sentinels
To the sable triangle below her soft belly
Then returned to be once again entranced
By the sultry green eyes of the seductress
In a silken movement she discarded the flimsy garment
And moved closer, only millimeters away
So close I could feel the beating of her heart
And with every breath she took
Her nipples gently brushed against my skin
Then I felt her hands on my skin
And electricity seemed to move between us
Her touch, soft and delicate on my skin
And as they moved across my body
It felt as though I was being wrapped in silk
Her lips pressed gently against my skin
As she kissed my chest, my neck, my throat
Then up to my cheek and finally my lips
Where she moistly kissed my mouth
Then without warning she became animal and urgent
As she pushed me onto the bed
Her nails dug deep into my flesh
And her mouth pressed hard against mine
Her tongue was darting into my mouth like a piston
Her hands sought me out and found me hard and pulsing
She tugged at my hardness, then enveloped me
Immersing me in her, coating me in warm honey
Her muscles were tight about me
As all at once she was rising and falling on me
Her mouth left mine and her tongue explored my ear
And her sharp teeth chewed at my lobe
Deep rasping breaths turned into loud animal moans
As her exertions became more urgent
Her mouth returned to mine as her passions grew
And when the first orgasm rippled through her
Her kisses turned to bites and she bit my lip
Then she began to lose control and she lost the rhythm
I gripped tight on her hips and imposed my beat
Her moans had turned to wails
And she whipped me with her hair
As she cast her head back and fourth with each stroke
Then that moment arrived
When we both stood upon the edge,
Of that most delicious precipice
Between the bestial coupling, primeval and base
And that joyful release of climax
I exploded inside her with an involuntary grunt
And she let out a banshee wail
All of a sudden I was wide awake
Laying alone, my skin moist with sweat
The bed in total disarray
I was breathing hard and
I imagined I could still smell her scent
And as I moistened my lips
I detected something odd
The metallic taste of blood on my tongue
Monday, 23 February 2009
A Little bit Of Humour
IT’S THE DOGS…. ONCE AGAIN
George loved his wife Elsie dearly
They’d been married 40 years nearly
George loved her from the very first look
But sadly Elsie was a desperate cook
To her great credit it didn’t deter her
From preparing a variety of fare
One day she served something cordon bleu
Which caused George to sit and stare
It was truly awful even just to look at
Some burnt, some raw and swimming in fat
Reluctantly he took a taste of the presentation
And gave it to his dog without hesitation
Then immediately after eating some
The dog started licking at his bum
“Why is he doing that?" she said in disgust
As the dog did what all dogs must
George replied quite straight faced
“He’s trying to get rid of the taste”
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES – ANSWERING THE CALL
In class one day a boy named Benny
Needed to go to the toilet suddenly
So he called out loudly to Miss
“Please I really need to take a piss”
The teacher said “No you must wait”
“The correct word to use is urinate”
If you use “urinate” in a sentence correctly
I will allow you to go to the lavatory
And so thought the boy called Benny
Desperate now to spend a penny
"You're an eight miss” says young Ben
“But if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES – A QUESTION OF SYLLABLES
“Ok class, today we will learn
About words with multi syllables”
The teacher addressed her class
“Does anyone have an example?”
One boy put up his hand
“Please miss I have an example”
He wrote on the blackboard “Mas-tur-bate”
Then said “that is my example”
The teacher was a little embarrassed
"Gosh that’s a mouthful."
"No, Miss, you're thinking of a blowjob
And that has fewer syllables”
NEW RESOLVE
My New Year resolution
Was to find a solution
To my misshapen figure
And lack of vim and vigour
Though feeling rather grim
I signed up for the gym
First came the orientation
And equipment demonstration
I was told of suitable clothes
Something loose that flows
I said “the reason or the point
Of me being in this joint
And why I signed up tonight
Is all my clothes are tight”
George loved his wife Elsie dearly
They’d been married 40 years nearly
George loved her from the very first look
But sadly Elsie was a desperate cook
To her great credit it didn’t deter her
From preparing a variety of fare
One day she served something cordon bleu
Which caused George to sit and stare
It was truly awful even just to look at
Some burnt, some raw and swimming in fat
Reluctantly he took a taste of the presentation
And gave it to his dog without hesitation
Then immediately after eating some
The dog started licking at his bum
“Why is he doing that?" she said in disgust
As the dog did what all dogs must
George replied quite straight faced
“He’s trying to get rid of the taste”
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES – ANSWERING THE CALL
In class one day a boy named Benny
Needed to go to the toilet suddenly
So he called out loudly to Miss
“Please I really need to take a piss”
The teacher said “No you must wait”
“The correct word to use is urinate”
If you use “urinate” in a sentence correctly
I will allow you to go to the lavatory
And so thought the boy called Benny
Desperate now to spend a penny
"You're an eight miss” says young Ben
“But if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES – A QUESTION OF SYLLABLES
“Ok class, today we will learn
About words with multi syllables”
The teacher addressed her class
“Does anyone have an example?”
One boy put up his hand
“Please miss I have an example”
He wrote on the blackboard “Mas-tur-bate”
Then said “that is my example”
The teacher was a little embarrassed
"Gosh that’s a mouthful."
"No, Miss, you're thinking of a blowjob
And that has fewer syllables”
NEW RESOLVE
My New Year resolution
Was to find a solution
To my misshapen figure
And lack of vim and vigour
Though feeling rather grim
I signed up for the gym
First came the orientation
And equipment demonstration
I was told of suitable clothes
Something loose that flows
I said “the reason or the point
Of me being in this joint
And why I signed up tonight
Is all my clothes are tight”
More Love Poems
WHERE DO I BEGIN TO SAY?
Where do I begin to say?
Exactly what you mean to me
It would surely end my world
If you were to set me free
Where do I begin to say?
How happy it would make me
If I could find the perfect words
To express my feelings with clarity
When we are separated
I feel half a person, empty and incomplete
But when we are together
I am whole and I am replete
Where do I begin to say?
How blessed I am to have you in my life
As my lover, and best friend
My partner and my wife
KIWI GIRL
She was a tiny little thing
Barely five foot, Pint size
But larger than life
With huge grey eyes
Her first words were
I’m not an Aussie
I’m from New Zealand
And I’m a Kiwi
Christened Katherine
She preferred Kitty
At first glance
I thought she was pretty
Perhaps not beautiful
Well not obviously so
But certainly pretty
But not to the shallow
She was not compelled
By fashion or fad
In her cargo pants
And shirt of plaid
Her stocking feet
Made little sound
As on fairy steps
She flitted around
She had a delicious chuckle
Rich and fruity
When she laughed
Was when I saw beauty
A smile lit up her face
And her big eyes
Transformed her
From pupae to butterfly
Her laughing eyes
Glanced aside
And she was caught
Her look was spied
Her pale skin
As she blushed
Turns to crimson
And away she rushed
Though she dressed
Not to impress
She had a figure
Hidden, nonetheless
My eyes followed her
Though no others did
My pretty Kitty
This gorgeous Kiwi kid
Do you try to hide?
From the wicked world
The pretty girl inside
Oh lovely Kiwi girl
Because I already spied
The pretty girl inside
When first I looked
Into her big grey eyes
SHE IS
She is embedded in my heart
I imagine her inside my head
I picture her in my life
Safely in my arms
Or sleeping in my bed
She is ingrained in my soul
I imagine us with a family
I picture our life together
Far off in the future
With cherished memories
She is woven through my fabric
She is at the very heart of me
I feel her hand in mine
And her kisses on my skin
Her scent is exotic and heady
Though she is in my every thought
And my dreams of her persist
I have to confess that
As much as I love her
She doesn’t know that I exist
Where do I begin to say?
Exactly what you mean to me
It would surely end my world
If you were to set me free
Where do I begin to say?
How happy it would make me
If I could find the perfect words
To express my feelings with clarity
When we are separated
I feel half a person, empty and incomplete
But when we are together
I am whole and I am replete
Where do I begin to say?
How blessed I am to have you in my life
As my lover, and best friend
My partner and my wife
KIWI GIRL
She was a tiny little thing
Barely five foot, Pint size
But larger than life
With huge grey eyes
Her first words were
I’m not an Aussie
I’m from New Zealand
And I’m a Kiwi
Christened Katherine
She preferred Kitty
At first glance
I thought she was pretty
Perhaps not beautiful
Well not obviously so
But certainly pretty
But not to the shallow
She was not compelled
By fashion or fad
In her cargo pants
And shirt of plaid
Her stocking feet
Made little sound
As on fairy steps
She flitted around
She had a delicious chuckle
Rich and fruity
When she laughed
Was when I saw beauty
A smile lit up her face
And her big eyes
Transformed her
From pupae to butterfly
Her laughing eyes
Glanced aside
And she was caught
Her look was spied
Her pale skin
As she blushed
Turns to crimson
And away she rushed
Though she dressed
Not to impress
She had a figure
Hidden, nonetheless
My eyes followed her
Though no others did
My pretty Kitty
This gorgeous Kiwi kid
Do you try to hide?
From the wicked world
The pretty girl inside
Oh lovely Kiwi girl
Because I already spied
The pretty girl inside
When first I looked
Into her big grey eyes
SHE IS
She is embedded in my heart
I imagine her inside my head
I picture her in my life
Safely in my arms
Or sleeping in my bed
She is ingrained in my soul
I imagine us with a family
I picture our life together
Far off in the future
With cherished memories
She is woven through my fabric
She is at the very heart of me
I feel her hand in mine
And her kisses on my skin
Her scent is exotic and heady
Though she is in my every thought
And my dreams of her persist
I have to confess that
As much as I love her
She doesn’t know that I exist
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