WHERE DO I BEGIN TO SAY?
Where do I begin to say?
Exactly what you mean to me
It would surely end my world
If you were to set me free
Where do I begin to say?
How happy it would make me
If I could find the perfect words
To express my feelings with clarity
When we are separated
I feel half a person, empty and incomplete
But when we are together
I am whole and I am replete
Where do I begin to say?
How blessed I am to have you in my life
As my lover, and best friend
My partner and my wife
KIWI GIRL
She was a tiny little thing
Barely five foot, Pint size
But larger than life
With huge grey eyes
Her first words were
I’m not an Aussie
I’m from New Zealand
And I’m a Kiwi
Christened Katherine
She preferred Kitty
At first glance
I thought she was pretty
Perhaps not beautiful
Well not obviously so
But certainly pretty
But not to the shallow
She was not compelled
By fashion or fad
In her cargo pants
And shirt of plaid
Her stocking feet
Made little sound
As on fairy steps
She flitted around
She had a delicious chuckle
Rich and fruity
When she laughed
Was when I saw beauty
A smile lit up her face
And her big eyes
Transformed her
From pupae to butterfly
Her laughing eyes
Glanced aside
And she was caught
Her look was spied
Her pale skin
As she blushed
Turns to crimson
And away she rushed
Though she dressed
Not to impress
She had a figure
Hidden, nonetheless
My eyes followed her
Though no others did
My pretty Kitty
This gorgeous Kiwi kid
Do you try to hide?
From the wicked world
The pretty girl inside
Oh lovely Kiwi girl
Because I already spied
The pretty girl inside
When first I looked
Into her big grey eyes
SHE IS
She is embedded in my heart
I imagine her inside my head
I picture her in my life
Safely in my arms
Or sleeping in my bed
She is ingrained in my soul
I imagine us with a family
I picture our life together
Far off in the future
With cherished memories
She is woven through my fabric
She is at the very heart of me
I feel her hand in mine
And her kisses on my skin
Her scent is exotic and heady
Though she is in my every thought
And my dreams of her persist
I have to confess that
As much as I love her
She doesn’t know that I exist
Monday, 23 February 2009
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
Assorted Love Poems For Valentines Day
SEE EMILY PLAY
It is said that Beauty
Is in its beholders eye
Then surely in Emily’s case
Our vision must be singular
Any man with a heartbeat
Must see as I
In order not to mislead
I should state that Emily
Is not on the cover of vogue
She is no airbrushed goddess
She is a normal girl
Perhaps even ordinary
But she is beautiful all the same
She does not see it
In her self effacing way
She sees only her flaws
But in my eyes
Her beauty is enhanced
By her imperfections
And not diminished by them
She is not a perfect beauty
And so to me she is perfection
She see’s many imperfections
But I don’t see any
For example her hair
Which Emily wears long
Is straight and is of that
Undignified shade of mousy
Her ears are small, almost delicate
But they do protrude
Allowing her to hook her hair
Behind them effortlessly
Emily’s nose is a little Aquiline
But cute all the same
Her eyes are a startling pale green
And quite hypnotic
They are punctuated
With thick eyebrows
In the Brooke Shields style
Her lips are full, without a pout
And the corners turn up
Cutely innocent
The colour is pink
At its darkest hue
But all of this is merely,
Window dressing
I look at her in awe
Such is her loveliness
But the secret to her beauty
Is that she is natural
On the day I first met her
On that summers day
When her mouth opened
And those full pink lips
Turned into a smile
They illuminated the room
Her face seemed to radiate
A light so divine
And her countenance
Was at once angelic
And at that very moment
Emily captured my heart
I stood open mouthed
Staring at this goddess
Then when see noticed me
Her cheeks discoloured
To a shade of claret wine
And I knew cupid had struck
Two hearts pieced by a single arrow
THE CATS WHISKERS
You are simply the bee’s knees
The cats whiskers to a tee
And I couldn’t feel more lucky
If I’d won the national lottery
So I amble about the place
A smug expression on my face
Like a cat that got the cream
As you’ve made my life a dream
And you are my little sex kitten
And I am yours, totally smitten
WHEN LOVERS PART
Was it really two weeks ago
When we cried and said hello
And now as we stand in the rain
It’s the time for us to part again
Holding you close again we cry
As the time has come to say goodbye
Only a few more weeks to go
When we will say our last hello
And our goodbyes will be done
As before God we join as one
And never again will we part
Or feel the longing in our hearts
I hold you close as again we cry
Then I kiss you and say goodbye
MY HEART WILL SAY
My heart will say
Every day
Why am I empty?
So empty
My heart will say
Every day
Why am I so lonely?
So lonely
My heart will say
Every day
I can love someone
Anyone
My heart will say
Every day
Answer me please
Please answer me
My heart makes a plea
Please fill me
Give me some company
Hear my plea
My heart will say
Every day
Find me a kindred spirit
Oh please permit
My heart despairs
I have so much to share
I have so much to give
Please let me live
THOSE EYES
Those eyes, those eyes
Of saucer size
Those eyes, those eyes
That hypnotize
Those eyes, those eyes
So worldly wise
Those eyes, those eyes
That bring me sighs
Those eyes, those eyes
Cause of my demise
Those eyes, those eyes
I’m lost, so no surprise
EVERY DREAM I’VE DREAMED
Every dream I’ve dreamed
Was because of you
Every wish I’ve wished
You have made come true
You read me like a book
And you are written on every page
Everything I've longed for
Is rolled up in one package
You came to me like a gift
Delivered out of the blue
And the greatest gift of all
Is being loved by you
THANK YOU ELIZABETH
How do I love thee?
Was Ms Browning’s question
Let me count the ways.
Was her suggestion
But how to begin
That list of criteria
Or to select one phrase
To serve as a Panacea
Her answer was perfection
The perfection such as I desire
I love you as deep and wide
And as high as my soul can aspire
IMMEASURABLE
Since that first day long ago
When first I saw my angel
We have laboured hard at love
And we have both built well
We have forged this love
Which we will forever know
It will never melt away
Like the thawing of the snow
But how is it measured?
How do we quantify?
We feel it and that is proof enough
The love shared by you and I
YOU MUST KNOW I LOVE YOU
You must know I love you
I hope I show you that I do
For the sweetest moments in my life
Are the ones I spend with you
You are my first thought
When I awake to the new day
And the last thing on my mind
At night when I drift away
I wish I could tell you
Of the love that’s in my heart
I want you to feel the depth of love
I’ve felt for you from the start
I would use sweet phrases
And sugary words of love
The sweetest ever known
Speaking of columbine and dove
No the words that I must choose
Are the simplest that I can use
What I'm feeling deep inside
Is the deepest love for you
ON THAT BEAUTIFUL DAY IN JUNE
On that beautiful day in June
When they played that familiar tune
My heart was filled with happiness
Then I saw you in the big white dress
I stole a sideways glance at you
And found you looking at me too
It was quite goofy we smiled so much
I took your hand and felt your tender touch
Proudly we stood together side by side
As before God the knot was tied
My heart filled again with happiness
As I wed the girl in the big white dress
If pride is a sin then I’ve sinned too much
I’ve felt it when I’ve felt your loving touch
I’ve felt it at our happiest and our saddest
And when I saw you in a maternity dress
Oh how I remember that day in June
When they played that familiar tune
And my heart was filled with happiness
When I saw you in the big white dress
And now as I look back across the years
To the times of laughter and of tears
I’ve never said “I love you” and not felt proud
My dearest one beneath the big white shroud
GROWING OLD TOGETHER
Journey to our Autumn years
In my loving company
Let us age together like old port
Or mature like a piece of Brie
What joys the future holds
If you spend your life with me
MORE THAN ALL THE RICHES
More than all the riches of the earth
Or all the treasure of the deep
More than ingots from the vaults
Or jewels in the Castle’s keep
Neither polished gem nor cultured pearl
Could be held to be in compare
To the priceless nature of our love
That you and I both share
I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU
I fell in love with you
When you were glam
And I still love you now?
That I’m an old man
I fell in love with you
When you were buffer
And I still love you now?
That I’m an old duffer
I fell in love with you
When you were fit
And I still love you now?
That I’m an old git
BE MY VALENTINE # 6
On Valentines Day
The valentine card said to the stamp
Stick with me and we'll go places!
While the farmer gave his wife
Hogs and kisses!
And the caveman gave his wife
Ughs and kisses!
And the Persian gave his wife
Rugs and kisses!
It is said that Beauty
Is in its beholders eye
Then surely in Emily’s case
Our vision must be singular
Any man with a heartbeat
Must see as I
In order not to mislead
I should state that Emily
Is not on the cover of vogue
She is no airbrushed goddess
She is a normal girl
Perhaps even ordinary
But she is beautiful all the same
She does not see it
In her self effacing way
She sees only her flaws
But in my eyes
Her beauty is enhanced
By her imperfections
And not diminished by them
She is not a perfect beauty
And so to me she is perfection
She see’s many imperfections
But I don’t see any
For example her hair
Which Emily wears long
Is straight and is of that
Undignified shade of mousy
Her ears are small, almost delicate
But they do protrude
Allowing her to hook her hair
Behind them effortlessly
Emily’s nose is a little Aquiline
But cute all the same
Her eyes are a startling pale green
And quite hypnotic
They are punctuated
With thick eyebrows
In the Brooke Shields style
Her lips are full, without a pout
And the corners turn up
Cutely innocent
The colour is pink
At its darkest hue
But all of this is merely,
Window dressing
I look at her in awe
Such is her loveliness
But the secret to her beauty
Is that she is natural
On the day I first met her
On that summers day
When her mouth opened
And those full pink lips
Turned into a smile
They illuminated the room
Her face seemed to radiate
A light so divine
And her countenance
Was at once angelic
And at that very moment
Emily captured my heart
I stood open mouthed
Staring at this goddess
Then when see noticed me
Her cheeks discoloured
To a shade of claret wine
And I knew cupid had struck
Two hearts pieced by a single arrow
THE CATS WHISKERS
You are simply the bee’s knees
The cats whiskers to a tee
And I couldn’t feel more lucky
If I’d won the national lottery
So I amble about the place
A smug expression on my face
Like a cat that got the cream
As you’ve made my life a dream
And you are my little sex kitten
And I am yours, totally smitten
WHEN LOVERS PART
Was it really two weeks ago
When we cried and said hello
And now as we stand in the rain
It’s the time for us to part again
Holding you close again we cry
As the time has come to say goodbye
Only a few more weeks to go
When we will say our last hello
And our goodbyes will be done
As before God we join as one
And never again will we part
Or feel the longing in our hearts
I hold you close as again we cry
Then I kiss you and say goodbye
MY HEART WILL SAY
My heart will say
Every day
Why am I empty?
So empty
My heart will say
Every day
Why am I so lonely?
So lonely
My heart will say
Every day
I can love someone
Anyone
My heart will say
Every day
Answer me please
Please answer me
My heart makes a plea
Please fill me
Give me some company
Hear my plea
My heart will say
Every day
Find me a kindred spirit
Oh please permit
My heart despairs
I have so much to share
I have so much to give
Please let me live
THOSE EYES
Those eyes, those eyes
Of saucer size
Those eyes, those eyes
That hypnotize
Those eyes, those eyes
So worldly wise
Those eyes, those eyes
That bring me sighs
Those eyes, those eyes
Cause of my demise
Those eyes, those eyes
I’m lost, so no surprise
EVERY DREAM I’VE DREAMED
Every dream I’ve dreamed
Was because of you
Every wish I’ve wished
You have made come true
You read me like a book
And you are written on every page
Everything I've longed for
Is rolled up in one package
You came to me like a gift
Delivered out of the blue
And the greatest gift of all
Is being loved by you
THANK YOU ELIZABETH
How do I love thee?
Was Ms Browning’s question
Let me count the ways.
Was her suggestion
But how to begin
That list of criteria
Or to select one phrase
To serve as a Panacea
Her answer was perfection
The perfection such as I desire
I love you as deep and wide
And as high as my soul can aspire
IMMEASURABLE
Since that first day long ago
When first I saw my angel
We have laboured hard at love
And we have both built well
We have forged this love
Which we will forever know
It will never melt away
Like the thawing of the snow
But how is it measured?
How do we quantify?
We feel it and that is proof enough
The love shared by you and I
YOU MUST KNOW I LOVE YOU
You must know I love you
I hope I show you that I do
For the sweetest moments in my life
Are the ones I spend with you
You are my first thought
When I awake to the new day
And the last thing on my mind
At night when I drift away
I wish I could tell you
Of the love that’s in my heart
I want you to feel the depth of love
I’ve felt for you from the start
I would use sweet phrases
And sugary words of love
The sweetest ever known
Speaking of columbine and dove
No the words that I must choose
Are the simplest that I can use
What I'm feeling deep inside
Is the deepest love for you
ON THAT BEAUTIFUL DAY IN JUNE
On that beautiful day in June
When they played that familiar tune
My heart was filled with happiness
Then I saw you in the big white dress
I stole a sideways glance at you
And found you looking at me too
It was quite goofy we smiled so much
I took your hand and felt your tender touch
Proudly we stood together side by side
As before God the knot was tied
My heart filled again with happiness
As I wed the girl in the big white dress
If pride is a sin then I’ve sinned too much
I’ve felt it when I’ve felt your loving touch
I’ve felt it at our happiest and our saddest
And when I saw you in a maternity dress
Oh how I remember that day in June
When they played that familiar tune
And my heart was filled with happiness
When I saw you in the big white dress
And now as I look back across the years
To the times of laughter and of tears
I’ve never said “I love you” and not felt proud
My dearest one beneath the big white shroud
GROWING OLD TOGETHER
Journey to our Autumn years
In my loving company
Let us age together like old port
Or mature like a piece of Brie
What joys the future holds
If you spend your life with me
MORE THAN ALL THE RICHES
More than all the riches of the earth
Or all the treasure of the deep
More than ingots from the vaults
Or jewels in the Castle’s keep
Neither polished gem nor cultured pearl
Could be held to be in compare
To the priceless nature of our love
That you and I both share
I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU
I fell in love with you
When you were glam
And I still love you now?
That I’m an old man
I fell in love with you
When you were buffer
And I still love you now?
That I’m an old duffer
I fell in love with you
When you were fit
And I still love you now?
That I’m an old git
BE MY VALENTINE # 6
On Valentines Day
The valentine card said to the stamp
Stick with me and we'll go places!
While the farmer gave his wife
Hogs and kisses!
And the caveman gave his wife
Ughs and kisses!
And the Persian gave his wife
Rugs and kisses!
WINTER WONDERLAND
THE SILENT DAWN
The six o’clock alarm
Breaks my slumber
I swat at the clock
Like an unwelcome bug
A single gesture brings silence
And I lie in the quiet hush
Silence! Why is it silent?
Where is the traffic noise?
The clinking milk float?
The boy racers?
The early morning bussle?
I leap from my bed
And rush to the window
I pause for a moment
Hold my breath in anticipation
Then pull back the curtain
And what a sight to behold
Snow! Snow! Snow!
As far as the eye could see
A vista of pure virgin white
The whole scene cloaked
In a deep shroud of snow
Shapes rose up here and there
From the thick carpet
Disguising what lay below
I search the scene for signs of life
And found none
The snow was fresh and unsullied
Just lying there, waiting
I turned and dragged the duvet
Off my sleeping wife
And responded to her protests
Saying “Snow! Snow! Snow!”
Half an hour later
We were fully dressed
And on the way out of the door
Thirty seconds later we were back
We had forgotten to wake the children
SNOWFLAKE
What a perfect creation
Are the snowflakes
Beauty and geometry
Each precisely fashioned
They float to earth
Filling the air
Like cotton in a mill shed
Haphazardly drifting
Individual and unique
The crystals fall
Like pieces in an Impossipuzzle
To make a perfect picture
IT’S A SNOW DAY
The motorway is closed
All the schools are shut
It’s a snow day, it’s a snow day
The kids can stay and play
The buses aren’t running
The car won’t start
It’s a snow day, it’s a snow day
We can stay and play
The gritter’s never did the job
The salt’s still in the bin
It’s a snow day, it’s a snow day
No work for us today
It’s bad for the economy
For us all to stay at home
It’s a snow day, it’s a snow day
Hip, hip hooray
The six o’clock alarm
Breaks my slumber
I swat at the clock
Like an unwelcome bug
A single gesture brings silence
And I lie in the quiet hush
Silence! Why is it silent?
Where is the traffic noise?
The clinking milk float?
The boy racers?
The early morning bussle?
I leap from my bed
And rush to the window
I pause for a moment
Hold my breath in anticipation
Then pull back the curtain
And what a sight to behold
Snow! Snow! Snow!
As far as the eye could see
A vista of pure virgin white
The whole scene cloaked
In a deep shroud of snow
Shapes rose up here and there
From the thick carpet
Disguising what lay below
I search the scene for signs of life
And found none
The snow was fresh and unsullied
Just lying there, waiting
I turned and dragged the duvet
Off my sleeping wife
And responded to her protests
Saying “Snow! Snow! Snow!”
Half an hour later
We were fully dressed
And on the way out of the door
Thirty seconds later we were back
We had forgotten to wake the children
SNOWFLAKE
What a perfect creation
Are the snowflakes
Beauty and geometry
Each precisely fashioned
They float to earth
Filling the air
Like cotton in a mill shed
Haphazardly drifting
Individual and unique
The crystals fall
Like pieces in an Impossipuzzle
To make a perfect picture
IT’S A SNOW DAY
The motorway is closed
All the schools are shut
It’s a snow day, it’s a snow day
The kids can stay and play
The buses aren’t running
The car won’t start
It’s a snow day, it’s a snow day
We can stay and play
The gritter’s never did the job
The salt’s still in the bin
It’s a snow day, it’s a snow day
No work for us today
It’s bad for the economy
For us all to stay at home
It’s a snow day, it’s a snow day
Hip, hip hooray
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
THE CHRISTMAS SURPRISE
IT WAS CHRISTMAS EVE
It was Christmas Eve
We were preparing for Christmas day
Stuffing the bird and peeling veg
Singing of Santa on his sleigh
When the phone call came
I thought great Dads on his way
Or maybe it will be Gran
With another Christmas cliché
A happy Christmas call
Full of happiness and cheer
In truth it was the very opposite
It was the call we all fear
The death of a loved one
The voice says so very clear
“I’ve lost my best friend”
And I had no words only tears
Out of the blue so unexpected
Certainly not on Christmas Eve
Christmas should be a celebration
Certainly not a time to grieve
But Christmas Eve or not
It seems it was his time to leave
So farewell dear brother
Life without you I cannot conceive
DEAR BROTHER
Dear brother you were always first
I wish our roles could have been reversed
You were the first born son
Always Dads number one
You were first to go to school
While I looked at my brother so cool
The certificates you received
Became targets I had to achieve
I always beat you I was always King
But I was never first to do anything
You were the first to kiss a girl
A rather ungainly blonde called Shirl
You were the first to get a job
The first to earn an honest bob
You were the first to wed
The first to wet a babies head
And to feel a granddads pride
I watched you brush a tear aside
And now for the last time
You were first to hear the bell chime
Once more you’ve won the race
And were first to feel Gods embrace
JUST LIKE JACOB MARLEY
Peter was taken on Christmas Eve
Just like Jacob Marley
But the similarity ends there
He was never grasping or stingy
He had not been well for a time
And happy to pass without fuss
But he would have been hopping mad
That he was missing Christmas
He would not have planned it that way
And picked a better time to leave
I think he would have been happier
If he had died on New Years Eve
For my Brother Peter who died on Christmas Eve 2008
It was Christmas Eve
We were preparing for Christmas day
Stuffing the bird and peeling veg
Singing of Santa on his sleigh
When the phone call came
I thought great Dads on his way
Or maybe it will be Gran
With another Christmas cliché
A happy Christmas call
Full of happiness and cheer
In truth it was the very opposite
It was the call we all fear
The death of a loved one
The voice says so very clear
“I’ve lost my best friend”
And I had no words only tears
Out of the blue so unexpected
Certainly not on Christmas Eve
Christmas should be a celebration
Certainly not a time to grieve
But Christmas Eve or not
It seems it was his time to leave
So farewell dear brother
Life without you I cannot conceive
DEAR BROTHER
Dear brother you were always first
I wish our roles could have been reversed
You were the first born son
Always Dads number one
You were first to go to school
While I looked at my brother so cool
The certificates you received
Became targets I had to achieve
I always beat you I was always King
But I was never first to do anything
You were the first to kiss a girl
A rather ungainly blonde called Shirl
You were the first to get a job
The first to earn an honest bob
You were the first to wed
The first to wet a babies head
And to feel a granddads pride
I watched you brush a tear aside
And now for the last time
You were first to hear the bell chime
Once more you’ve won the race
And were first to feel Gods embrace
JUST LIKE JACOB MARLEY
Peter was taken on Christmas Eve
Just like Jacob Marley
But the similarity ends there
He was never grasping or stingy
He had not been well for a time
And happy to pass without fuss
But he would have been hopping mad
That he was missing Christmas
He would not have planned it that way
And picked a better time to leave
I think he would have been happier
If he had died on New Years Eve
For my Brother Peter who died on Christmas Eve 2008
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES
# 1
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
Thanks to a litigious culture, and a legal vulture
Humpty Dumpty made a big score
# 2
It's raining, it's pouring;
Politicians are snoring.
They had their chance
To save the world
Now we’re screwed by global warming
# 3
Simple Simon met a pie man
Going to the fair;
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
"what have you got there?"
Said the pie man to Simple Simon
"what do you expect me to have?"
“I’m the pie man
so I’ve got pies you dozy chav”
# 4
Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls but didn’t know why.
When the boys came out to play
He had more fun because he was gay
# 5
Mary Mary quite contrary,
How has your garden thrived?
With fertilizers and chemicals?
Or is it genetically modified?
# 6
Little Bo peep has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where to find them.
She didn’t know about the foot and mouth
Or that the farmer had to burn them
# 7
I had a little hen,
The prettiest ever seen,
Which happily made
For such versatile cuisine
# 8
Little Jack Horner sat in the corner
Of a fashionable eatery
When his food arrived in its design contrived
He said “What’s this supposed to be?”
# 9
Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,
Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown,
The silly man would have looked better
If he waited till the warmer weather
# 10
Peter, Peter pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn't keep her!
She slipped through his fingers like sand
So he ordered another one from Thailand
# 11
This little piggy has an ASBO
This little piggy’s in prison,
This little piggy was a car thief
This little piggy’s on the run
And this little piggy went...
"!£&&*!!!$" the anti social little bastard
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
Thanks to a litigious culture, and a legal vulture
Humpty Dumpty made a big score
# 2
It's raining, it's pouring;
Politicians are snoring.
They had their chance
To save the world
Now we’re screwed by global warming
# 3
Simple Simon met a pie man
Going to the fair;
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
"what have you got there?"
Said the pie man to Simple Simon
"what do you expect me to have?"
“I’m the pie man
so I’ve got pies you dozy chav”
# 4
Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls but didn’t know why.
When the boys came out to play
He had more fun because he was gay
# 5
Mary Mary quite contrary,
How has your garden thrived?
With fertilizers and chemicals?
Or is it genetically modified?
# 6
Little Bo peep has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where to find them.
She didn’t know about the foot and mouth
Or that the farmer had to burn them
# 7
I had a little hen,
The prettiest ever seen,
Which happily made
For such versatile cuisine
# 8
Little Jack Horner sat in the corner
Of a fashionable eatery
When his food arrived in its design contrived
He said “What’s this supposed to be?”
# 9
Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,
Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown,
The silly man would have looked better
If he waited till the warmer weather
# 10
Peter, Peter pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn't keep her!
She slipped through his fingers like sand
So he ordered another one from Thailand
# 11
This little piggy has an ASBO
This little piggy’s in prison,
This little piggy was a car thief
This little piggy’s on the run
And this little piggy went...
"!£&&*!!!$" the anti social little bastard
Monday, 15 December 2008
PREPARING THE BIRD
The best way to prepare
Your turkey this Christmas
Is to keep it simple
To minimize the fuss
To my way of thinking
The best method to apply
Is just be straight
And say “Turkey, you’re going to die”
Your turkey this Christmas
Is to keep it simple
To minimize the fuss
To my way of thinking
The best method to apply
Is just be straight
And say “Turkey, you’re going to die”
OLD MAN IN THE MIRROR
If when you look in the mirror
And you see NO beer belly
NO complexion like cracked leather
NO bald head or nose like a strawberry
If when you look in the mirror
And it doesn’t look like you have three arses
Or have varicose veins on your lily white legs
Then you need to wear glasses
And you see NO beer belly
NO complexion like cracked leather
NO bald head or nose like a strawberry
If when you look in the mirror
And it doesn’t look like you have three arses
Or have varicose veins on your lily white legs
Then you need to wear glasses
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