GOING TO A FANCY DRESS PARTY

 

My friend told me he was going

To a fancy dress party

Dressed as an Italian island

I told him not to be Sicily

MY WIFE WAS INVITED TO GO

 

My wife was invited to go

On a girls' night out recently

The invite said “dress to kill”

So she went as Myra Hindley

WHEN MY GIRLFRIEND SUGGESTED # 3

 

When my girlfriend suggested

We play Doctors and Nurses

I was up for it even when

She told me about the role reverses

 

But when I dressed up in a uniform

With a starched white apron

She buggered off to play

Eighteen holes with a surgeon

WHEN MY GIRLFRIEND SUGGESTED # 2

 

When my girlfriend suggested

We play hospitals

I thought phwor

 

But she gave me an enema

And now I don’t want

To play anymore

ARE YOU WEARING A TOGA?

 

Are you wearing a toga?

I don’t want to be an ogre

But you’ll be a hit alright

At the house party tonight

As everyone will be knowing.

Because you will be showing

That beneath the flowing robes

You have unfettered globes

ARE YOU WEARING ROMAN ROBES?

 

Are you wearing Roman robes?

They’re very loose and flowing

And they fit where they touch

Without any detail showing

Which keeps a man guessing

I really like that about them

Because it’ll be a surprise later

When I take you up the forum