YOU’LL NEVER WALK ALONE

He lived his life in the shadows
Hiding from Gods light
Not acknowledging his existence
Thinking he was out of sight
He thought he walked the road alone
Without the Lord by his side
But at the hour of his death
His faith could no longer be denied
On the darkness of this death
God lights a light to show his way
Shining his light of love
To comfort those left in disarray
As he walks in Gods light
Within the sound of Heavens bells
God illuminating his path
Now he walks with the angels

I WENT TO A FUNERAL TODAY

I went to a funeral today
What a totally depressing day
In was a humanist service
Cold and utterly soulless
With some mumbling buffoon
Waffling on in monotone
A couple of poorly read poems
From some well thumbed tomes
And ended in a fit of irony
To the tune of “stay with me”
He was not religious I will concede
But even a man lacking a creed
Should be launched into oblivion
To the sound of a rousing requiem

THE CHRISTMAS SURPRISE

IT WAS CHRISTMAS EVE

It was Christmas Eve
We were preparing for Christmas day
Stuffing the bird and peeling veg
Singing of Santa on his sleigh
When the phone call came
I thought great Dads on his way
Or maybe it will be Gran
With another Christmas cliché

A happy Christmas call
Full of happiness and cheer
In truth it was the very opposite
It was the call we all fear
The death of a loved one
The voice says so very clear
“I’ve lost my best friend”
And I had no words only tears

Out of the blue so unexpected
Certainly not on Christmas Eve
Christmas should be a celebration
Certainly not a time to grieve
But Christmas Eve or not
It seems it was his time to leave
So farewell dear brother
Life without you I cannot conceive

DEAR BROTHER

Dear brother you were always first
I wish our roles could have been reversed
You were the first born son
Always Dads number one
You were first to go to school
While I looked at my brother so cool
The certificates you received
Became targets I had to achieve
I always beat you I was always King
But I was never first to do anything
You were the first to kiss a girl
A rather ungainly blonde called Shirl
You were the first to get a job
The first to earn an honest bob
You were the first to wed
The first to wet a babies head
And to feel a granddads pride
I watched you brush a tear aside
And now for the last time
You were first to hear the bell chime
Once more you’ve won the race
And were first to feel Gods embrace

JUST LIKE JACOB MARLEY

Peter was taken on Christmas Eve
Just like Jacob Marley
But the similarity ends there
He was never grasping or stingy
He had not been well for a time
And happy to pass without fuss
But he would have been hopping mad
That he was missing Christmas
He would not have planned it that way
And picked a better time to leave
I think he would have been happier
If he had died on New Years Eve

For my Brother Peter who died on Christmas Eve 2008

COMPLIMENTARY MEMBERSHIP

It was early morning
The sun was barely up
I knew because I saw it rise
I had lain in the darkness
Awake and aware for hours
Unable to sleep
Uneasy in my mind
Fearful of what maybe
Helpless in the face of events
Powerless to influence them
Just too far away
A continent away
Then I saw darkness slip into gloom
Then from gloom to glory
And in that glorious dawn light
I listened to world awaken
With all the sounds of first light
The chirruping birds
Of the dawn chorus
A milk float on its way
Clinking and rattling
Joe next door heading for work
Early turn this week
Then so I didn’t want to hear
The sound I was dreading
Beside me on the night stand
The telephone rang
A numbing fear gripped me
And for a moment I was frozen
Unable to move
Powerless to answer it
It’s never good news
Not at the crack of dawn
Good news always waits
Until a decent hour
When the telling of it can be savoured
And the listening appreciated
Good news was delivered with coffee
And consumed with tea
Good news did not come
With the breaking day and the dawn chorus
Only bad news came so early
Bad news never waited
There was no reason to wait
Bad news had no good time
It just had to be delivered
The phone rang again
And the fear released its grip on me
And I picked up the phone
The conversation was short
Its contents concise
It was the news I was expecting
Dreading, fearing
It was confirmed
I was now a member of the club
Sadly not an exclusive group
Quite indiscriminate in its selection
A club few wanted to join
But whose ranks are unshrinking
I had friends in the club
My wife was even a member
As was my boss
There was no shame in it
No social stigma
But I would have given anything
To have been excluded
To be denied admittance
To have my enrolment
Delayed for 10 or 20 years
Or even a few precious days
Just one short day, not even a whole day
Just a few hours over my travelling time
This is not an uncommon reaction
I am reliably informed
To resist membership
It’s not a club you want to join
After all no one chooses to join
The dead Dads club

I COULD NOT WEEP FOR HIM

I could not weep
When he was diagnosed
And I feared the worst
Or when the false smile appeared
And he feared it too
And put on a brave face

I could not weep
As I sat at his side
His hand once as strong as atlas
Now to weak to grip
Weak like a babe
More so

I could not weep
As I watched the frown
Furrowing his weathered face
Grey, expressionless
And as his frown faded,
As the morphine took control

I could not weep
As he lay motionless,
Breath shallow
Silent, almost
But for the occasional groan
Beneath the morphine

I could not weep
At his deathbed
As the monster within
Crept through his organs
Hastening the end
For him and for itself

I could not weep
As his muscles relaxed
And the pain was no more
As he exhaled his last
And his soul passed
When he was at peace

I could not weep
Not because it wasn’t macho
Nor for lack of love
It was perhaps numbness
Or a need to be strong
For family, others

I could not weep
When my father died
When he released his grip on life
And I kissed him goodbye
I felt only relief
That his suffering had ended

I could not weep
Not even at his funeral
When all who loved him gathered
And we shared memories
Even when the curtains drew
I could not weep for him

Fourteen years later
On a cold December morning
I held my first born son
And amidst the tears of joy
I wept for himAs I held his grandson

ON THE BLACK LAKE

John, in his boat one grey autumn day
Bobbing on the lakes black water
His heart gripped by blackness
As he sobbed for the loss of his daughter

His blood ran cold through his veins
As he stared at the dark water there
Water that would welcome him
And end a life filled with despair

John’s life was as empty as his heart
Now his dear little girl was gone
That sweet yellow haired angel
Without her he just couldn’t go on

Then calmness came upon the water
And he became suddenly aware
He was no longer alone in his boat
As he stared at the dark water there

The boat no longer bobbed on the lake
As he turned to look behind him
He saw God sitting in the stern
And on the shore stood two Seraphim

God sat with smiling countenance
His hair white as artic snow
His soft eyes just radiated love
And he emitted a warming glow

John stood silent before his god
As the boat drifted towards the shore
And the black despair which gripped him
Left his body through every pore

Then Gods eyes looked toward the land
To where his brace of angels stood
And John was moved to do the same
And in that instant he understood

For stood between the angels
Was his sweet yellow haired girl
Her broken body once more whole
And a hallow sat above her curls

Though the heavenly father never spoke
John understood the meaning clear
His darling child made Cherubim was safe
And his time was not yet near

Then singing the songs of paradise
The Seraphim both ascended high
While his darling girl waved to him
And ascended herself into the sky

John turned towards the stern
As the boat bobbed on the lake again
But saw only an empty space
The king had returned to his domain

John, in his boat that grey autumn day
Bobbing on the lakes black water
Now felt at peace with himself
Though he still grieved for his darling daughter

The waters were not so black any more
And love displaced despair in his heart
Though he would always miss his angel
He knew they would not always be apart

A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH

Wear your smile
Enjoy Life
If only for awhile

Enjoy the moment
It’s a special gift
That’s heaven sent

Life and death
Are separated
By a single breath

Then more or less
In an instant
Nothing-ness?

Then the sight
At the tunnels end
Of heavens light

JOURNEY

I have left you now my love
To make my final journey
Don’t break your heart
Don’t grieve for losing me
Remember all the good times
When we were young and free
Speak your prayers aloud
In fond remembrance of me
And when your journey is made
I will be the first one you see

COME WITH ME NOW

At his bedside
The gentle angel stood
Watching as he slept
Listening to his quiet shallow breath
Then the angel softly spoke
And reached out a hand
“Your time has come to see the lord”
“Come with me now”
Then he slept no more
And he left his empty body
Taking the offered hand
The angel smiled and they began to ascend
To a better place and time
Traveling upward through a tunnelToward a light becoming ever brighter
Its brightness became almost blinding
Until with the angel he emerged
Into the land of light and love
The angel left him with a smile
With those who had passed before
Familiar faces greeted him
Loved ones from years past
Who showed him round heavens paradise
Where milk and honey flowed
Scenes of unimagined beauty met his eye
And the sweetest perfumes filled the air
Music was everywhere invading every pore
From simple refrains to grand symphonies
Musicians played on instruments of gold
While choirs of angels sang
But the most overpowering feeling
That assailed his senses Was of everlasting love

DON’T FORGET ME

Don’t forget me, now I’ve gone
But remember me in happy ways
Don’t dwell on all the sadness
Bring to mind those special days

Don’t wipe me from your memory
But don’t grieve now I’ve passed
Remember all the good times
And the joy from good days past

Don’t be lonely now I’ve gone
My life ended yours did not
Find happiness where you can
I’m happy knowing I’m not forgot

Don’t forget to visit my grave
But only do it on a sunny day
Don’t stand at my stone in the rain
Blow me a kiss then walk away

So mark the passing of me well
But don’t shed too many tears
Gather friends and family round
Raise a glass to me with “cheers”

THE GOOD CITIZEN

I am twenty one years old
And was raised in the proper way
To abide by the laws of land
And to live by the rules every day

I was raised to apply common sense
To any action I might make
And to use my own judgment
And not to fear making a mistake

I was raised to respect myself
And respect others at the same time
I was raised to respect the law
And not to resort to crime

I was raised to think for myself
And given the tools to do so
I was taught the right from wrong
And how to behave and how to say no

I loved my life and I was happy
I had a good job which paid very well
A large circle of great friends
And a shiny new car I called Annabel

So when I went to a party with friends
To celebrate a twenty first birthday
I drove their in my beloved Annabel
And drank only coke to my friends dismay

I remembered what I was taught
And I didn't drink and drive
Despite pressure from my piers
I made a conscious choice to stay alive

I had a good time at the party
And I was proud of myself for my stance
I had a good time at the party
Though friends teased me for my abstinence

All too soon the party ended
And we hugged and kissed our goodnights
Then we all went our separate ways
I got into Annabel and turned on the lights

I drove off safe in the knowledge
I had done the right thing staying dry
I observed all the speed restrictions
Not realizing I was soon about to die

I’m standing on the roadside
And see my broken body on the ground
Poor Annabel is smashed to pieces
With men in uniforms all around

A young man was led away in handcuffs
It seems he was a drink driver
All his passengers were also dead
He was drunk and the only survivor

If he had been taught as I was
I would not now be lying dead
If he had been taught as I was
The road would not be coloured red

In my short life I was a good person
I was a good daughter to my parents
A good sister to my young brother
And good to my friends and confidents

There is so much I will now never do
My life will never be fulfilled
I was a good citizen until today
When through selfishness I was killed

A PASSING SOUL

Unflinching faith is much admired
To pass with dignity is what’s desired
Slipping quietly away in to the light
And with passed loved ones, reunite
Let slip the earthly bonds, external
And embrace the love of god eternal