I was in Basingstoke a
few months ago for a job interview and I found myself with a little time to
kill, as it is in my nature, that when going to a place for the first time in
particular, to allow plenty of time in the event of some unforeseen happening.
I don’t like being
late, especially for appointments and as a result I am invariably at least
forty-five minutes early, hence the necessity to kill some time.
On this particular
occasion, after scouting out my final destination, I decided to go into a local
café, “Butties and Baps”, which was only five minutes away from the company
where I had the interview, and I ordered a coffee and a Danish and sat down in
the corner to read my paper.
It was a little after
10 o’clock in the morning so the café was very quiet in fact there was only one
other customer and he was draining his cup, but almost as soon as my fellow
customer put his cup down the door opened and in walked an elderly gentleman
who made his way very sprightly, to the counter.
He exchanged pleasantries
with the well-endowed woman behind the counter who due to her physique I
assumed must be “Baps” and I could only imagine what “Butties” looked like.
Anyway, the old Gent,
unaware of my thoughts, proceeded to order a mug of tea with six sugars,
“Six sugars?” Baps
replied, “You’ll rot your teeth”.
The man stiffened
immediately
“Listen to me young
lady” he said loudly and indignantly.
Calling her “Young
Lady” must have been quite flattering to her as in my opinion she would not see
fifty again.
“I’m 77 years old, I
have never been to a dentist and furthermore I still have all my own teeth” and
with this he turned smartly on his heels and marched back out the door.
Baps just stood stock
still and speechless with her mouth open, teapot still in hand and pouring into
an overflowing mug.
“Don’t worry,” I said
“What he didn’t tell you was that he keeps them in an old tobacco tin, he’s
probably gone home to get them so he can have a bun to go with his mug of tea”.
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